Did my husband really have a crush?

[Insaneson669]

I'll get to the point - fast. My husband and I were at the computer, on his Facebook page, looking at old pictures. He ran to the store so I looked at something that showed he sent a friend request to some girl I've never heard of.

He got home and I asked who she was. He said he doesn't know who she is. I made it clear that he had sent her a friend request. He denied it.

Finally, after a week and swearing "on the life of our child" that he wasn't lying, he admitted knowing her. He said he met her at one of his stores and she was really nice (I did confirm that she is at his store and that she did just start working there). He said she's not attractive and has a "big nose". He said he didn't tell me the truth because he was afraid of the way I would react.

If he wasn't attracted to her, why did he add her on Facebook? I mean, he really only met her once!! Did she really make that big of an impact?!

Please let me know your thoughts! Was he attracted to her? Do you think he considered starting something??

[Cuntbiscuits]

Because he wanted to look at her pictures. He just wanted to see how hot her boobies, butt are like, maybe some bikini photos to show off her nice belly.

He is tired of checking you out all the time.

No he is hiding something, he is truthful about one thing, that he doesn't know her. But he isn't telling you that he only added her because he wants to see her photos and perhaps her friends photos as well. The more the better for self entertainment.

I think some married men do this and won't admit to their wives because they don't want divorce papers or an upset wife. The only reason why we men do this is because we sometimes get bored of our significant other, so we need additional attention.

I bet he also checks other women out behind your back and don't be surprised by history of porn on the computer (he could have deleted them).

[Hurricain]

F**king Facebook again. Does it exist only to ramp up the drama in the lives of young couples?

I am really glad that when I was a young husband, we didn't have smartphones for sending women pictures of your junk, and we didn't have Drama Book, I mean Facebook.

[Bree]

You obviously don't trust this guy, why are you married to him? I would need a break if I was married to you as well. A little too overbearing.

[Jonathan]

No one has a working crystal ball. That includes you or your husband. Even he doesn't know what might have happened.

Attractions don't stop just because you have a piece of paper (marriage license.) Besides, would you isolate your husband in a glass box and keep him from ever being able to have friends who also happen to be girls? Half the world is female. You might as well get used to the fact.

Yes, there are risks. Yes, he might enjoy certain aspects of her in ways he finds more fun or interesting than you. Yes, if he is at a weaker moment (or she is) something might happen, too.

But if you really are planning on having a lasting relationship with your husband, you really need to get to the point where you can trust him in risky situations and will allow him room to grow and develop and become better. And unless you like a stunted husband, you need to cut him slack for having friends who are women.

That said, he should NOT be affecting your life or your family's life in significant ways with his friends. If he isn't getting something done that he promised to do, and is preferring instead to spend that time on someone else, then you have a problem. But I'd worry about things when it becomes a problem. Otherwise, you do have to put some faith into your partner. If you are going to have him on a short leash, then I think you are better served by cutting it and instead finding someone who does make you feel safe. (I think he does have the job of making you feel safe and not keeping you on edge about his behaviors.)

He certainly didn't seem to be worried when he left about leaving you with his facebook account. I'd take that as a positive sign. He did seem to lie about her for a short while. I'd take that as a problem. So you work out how all this balances out.

[Jojo]

You are married and love him so trust him.
Just stop thinking about this and be happy with your life.