What Feelings Do I Have For This Friend, Am I Homosexual?

[Nellie]

my best friend is a girl. im a girl. im not a lesbian or bi but theres just something about my best friend that makes me really happy. when i hang around with her, i feel good. when we have fights i feel really broken hearted. im definitely not developing feelings for her because i know im not a lesbian. when shes mad at me i just cry all the time and i get jealous when my other friends take her away. when i message her on facebook and shes online but doesnt reply i feel i have done something wrong. i constantly ask her if she still likes me and she always says yes. shes my best friend but i dont know if im her best friend back. i always want to meet up with her because i feel she is the only friend i have that i can tell my feelings to. she knows most of my secrets. i guess the reason i dont fight with her is because i dont want to lose her. i hug all my friends beside her, i dont know why. im really confused, i need some help. everytime someone asks me who my best friend is i say her. even if we had a fight i would say her. i dont want to know im homosexual because i definitely know im not, i love a boy and have had many boyfriends in the past. i also always feel like i have to impress her to keep her. i need some advice immediately.

[Uppity Cat]

Well first my advice is to not over think your feelings. Enjoy your youth, work on your education and have fun.

Secondly the reason you feel you have to impress her to keep her is that little part of our brain called "ego." Our ego is not our friend and it always tells us we are not good enough and need to have and be more. It is never satisfied. Somehow you relate this friend with your self-worth. It would take several sessions to figure that out. But she factors into your worth and esteem somehow. So you have to keep impressing her so you feel fulfilled as a person.

This can be very dangerous for you because your type personality can connect with a man that will read you like a book and can be very abusive. Women in this situation are targets of domestic violence. It will be helpful for you to begin to understand and believe that your worth as a woman is not connected to another person, place, or thing. Find your worth within you. You are not what your thoughts and fears tell you you are.

[Che]

Not homo, more silly, grow up.

[AnonymousGuy:D]

I think this is just a case of "close sisterhood" I have a relationship with this guy similar to your situation. I was basically raised with my neighbor and the wanting to be with them and always wanting their approval is natural... We all want to be loved and this specific person makes you happy...
Homosexual is you being sexually attracted to this person which doesn't sound like it's the case

[Christine]

Your just a girl still in school. You will grow up some day.