Do I have my hopes up for no reason? How will this end?

[thankfuldirt875]

My long distance boyfriend of 6 months recently logged onto my Facebook and found messages with an online friend of mine that were too friendly for his liking. I used to have a thing with the guy and he helped me through a rough patch so I felt i owed it to him to help him out...well he confronted me about this 2 weeks ago, even though he read the messages over a month ago. I had no clues over the past month that anything was amiss in our relationship. We spent a week together after he had read the messages but before he had told me, and everything was as it usually is, normal. I've admitted my wrong doing and that i wouldn't have liked to have found messages between him and another girl. He has been deciding what to do, break up or try and move on together. He has called me the love of his life before and I think thats what is so hard for him, that he is still in love with me. We still talk almost every day. Its how friends would talk though, he brushes off anything that is related to inside jokes, nothing intimate necessarily.

Do i have my hopes up? Does he just need time to process the situation?
He hasn't said "i love you" in the two weeks since he told me about the messages, yet he would say it the 2 weeks before when he had read the messages. He has said though that he doesn't hate me. I have my hopes up that this will work out but I'm not sure if thats misguided and naive of me. Im giving him time and space, as much time as he needs. Is that enough?

[Neil]

Try to be loyal.

[D]

I think he waited a while to confront you, hoping you would come forward and be honest with him. Relationships cannot have hidden side pieces, or you lose intimacy - regardless of your intention. When you didn't come forward, he confronted you, and now he doesn't trust you.

Women are much more emotion-based than men, and for a man to openly admit and express love is much harder.

If he really means life and love to you - you need to fix this trust issue. Talk to him openly, admit your wrongdoing, and tell him that you want to build trust. And then do it. Do NOT engage with anyone inappropriately. If you don't know what "inappropriate" means, then just ask yourself "would I do this if he were sitting right beside me?". If the answer is no, then you are doing something you shouldn't be.

Facebook is evil, evil evil. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's TOO MUCH personal crap on the internet. You want a real relationship - don't pursue these relationships on Facebook. You will be much happier in real life without it.

Best of luck.

[James]

Yeah try to loyal for once :/