My boyfriend thinks I'm making up excuses?

[Olivia]

I have severe IBS with colon contractions equivalent to the pain of pregnancy contractions.. I can't eat dairy or gluten because of my IBS, I can't eat fast food like normal people. I take up to 5 medications on a daily basis to function and my IBS leads to horrible constipation. My boyfriend thinks I'm making up excuses for not being able to hang out or go on dates or travel long distances, I have to be by a bathroom AT ALL TIMES. Any advice? It's hard to explain this to a male without going into gross details lol

[shauna]

Total honesty - you be honest and let him know why. Yeah, it's a gross detail, but if you want to keep him? He's gonna have to know.

And if you feel like this is serious? REALLY be honest, because you need to know if he just thinks you are making excuses because he's missing part of the picture, or if it's because he's a jerk.

Me? I was sick with a chronic illness as well and my husband thought I was making excuses even WHEN he knew what was wrong. He even exposed me on purpose to some things, lying to me about it, because he thought I wouldn't really react and it would prove to me that it wasn't real.

Some people can't be taught that these types of things are real, and you really wanna know which one your boyfriend is.

And that said - Have you ever looked at motility issues along with your IBS? Or at something called dysautonomia? The latter involves parts of the body not regulating like they should, so things go too fast or slow, don't get enough blood flow, that sort of thing. Certain types are mentioned more, but there CAN be dysautonomia that involves the gut. Might be worth exploring.

Also...how much of an elimination diet have you done? A lot of IBS folks I know of were helped a lot by dropping a HUGE number of foods from their diet, ALL processed foods (even condiments and oils), and then slowly adding back in. Dropping ALL grains has been a huge help to many people I know of. One elimination diet I've been hearing a lot of IBS folks have success with has been the GAPS diet. They don't always agree with the philosophy behind it, but it seems to have something that has been helpful.

And...have you ever checked on something called mast cell activation disorder (MCAD)? This is a disorder where the body reacts allergically to things that are not actually allergens. And because of how the mast cells are triggered, you test NEGATIVE for any allergies, even when you can't eat so, so many foods. Sometimes the reactions can be very gut centered, too. Best information is on some mast cell or MCAD support groups on facebook - the medical information online is scanty, and focused on people who go into anaphylaxis (but MANY of us do not do so.)