X-mother in law and my daughter?

[A Lady]

My x-mother in law is in a nursing home..she is 90-ish. She is fully aware, a sharp woman intelectually and gets around ok.
My daughter who is 45.... is her grand daughter. My mother in law is the type that never spanks or scolds...and if a child ever stole something or lied or just out and out did something against someone...my mother in law would cover it up.....or just ignore the whole thing and never once see it as wrong.
The men in her family are x-cons, thieves, womanizers...and this has never bothered my x-mother in law...she sees it as just normal.
as soon as my daughter was old enough to understand the antics of this family tradition....she left my home and joined in with my x-mother is laws family traditions.
She has developed a rotten mouth, goes to bed with everyone...she left 2 babies with her first husband and went wild......now 30 years later......she cusses like sailor, wears scanty clothing, tells people off at the drop of a hat .
I , in the meantime found out my x-mother in law needed a few $$ a month to get things her SSI wont cover...so I have been sending her, or having my husband send her a few $$ each moth to cover these little items she might need.
This has been going on for 2 years. In the meantime I met my daughter in facebook by accident and said hello...we have not seen each other for 30 years....and i thought it would be nice for me to advance as a mother and try to be nice.....Because I spanked her.....I was promptly told I was abusive and a psychopath..and to go away......she then promptly had me removed frrom this section of facebook....so I cannot go in it again....
I know my mother in law... knows.... she is acting this way toward me....but wont say anything to my daughter ...as they communicate every month by phone call...my mother in law has on ocassion made it quite clear that she favors lisa over me....even tho I am sending money.
Knowing my X- mother in law knows how Lisa is treating me.....I want to discontinue sending money each month....as I feel it is inappropriate to be treated in such a manner while sending cash .......my x-mother in law would never tell my daughter to be respectful....and basically I feel... if... this is how my daughter will treat me and my husband...Lisa should be sending her money and I should back out.

am I wrong in feeling this way?

[Counselor]

I don't think you are wrong. Think about why you have been helping the mother-in-law. Do you regret doing so now? Then tell her & stop. You are just trying to be responsible & aware that a lot of others are not, even in the family. Do your best & remember you can only do your best.

[Donna]

Your feelings are not wrong but you need to decide now. If you give money it should be unconditional. But if you aren't ok with supporting her for who she is then stop. You can say well I decide this old habit of yours should change.

The money should be an unconditional gift if that's what you want to do. I'm really sorry about your daughter.