Not putting 'in a relationship' in your FB status?

[779]

Alright, so I know this won't seem like a big deal to most, but I've been dating this guy for a while now, and at first I was glad we didn't put 'in a relationship' on FB, because the last thing I wanted to do was to be in a relationship then break up a week later. Anyway, we've been dating for ... a long while now (as in, few months). I've asked him twice to put us in a relationship on FB, and he out-right refuses.He doesn't use FB barely at all, no posts (unless it's from someone else, and even then that's rare). He uses FB messenger though. His excuse was that he doesn't feel the need to plaster it all over the internet to have people possibly bitch about our relationship and drive us away from one another. He also said our parents never had to use FB to make their relationship known, so why should we? Well, I said they never played Video Games 24/7, use the internet all day every day, and lived in the same town so they seen each other all the time! Yet we live 20 minutes apart by vehicle (and I'm the only one that drives, of course), never do anything in public at all (only time we meet up randomly is after work, and that's for sex). Whenever he's over, all we do is play video games, and I feel more like a best friend than a lover. I feel like he's keeping me a secret. If he truly loved me like he says he does, wouldn't he want to show it to everyone? Social networks are a norm nowadays, it's how people get to know others 'dirty laundry', so to speak. Sometimes it could be for a good thing, like this. I'm not necessarily sure what to think tbh. The only girl he ever talks to is his ride to work, and they text all the time (He says she's married but ... I doubt a married girl would text as often as she textes him. He even pauses video games or checks her messages during sex). I don't know if what he's saying is correct or not. Am I over-reacting to something that isn't there? Or do I have every right to feel the way I do? ...

[☮ Kristen ☮]

Guys are usually slow to publicize things. I mean, you could just change yours and remark that you're not ashamed to give him a title to your friends. It might make him defensive but it's the truth. Sounds like this girl is a separate issue. I'd just keep an eye open.

[marcus]

Tell to put you on fb now, or take a running jump

[Antonio Ramirez]

Hes just using you for sex straight up, and his ride to work is really his gf, move on.

[me]

You are worrying over nothing! Anyone in their right mind wouldn't 'feel the need' to put a relationship status on a social networking site. Its like the person is trying to hard saying 'look at me I have a bf/gf' where in reality normal happy people in a loving committed relationship have no need for this - why would they?? The relationship is only real if you are putting that on fb???? lol

[MysteryGal]

its ok to want to show your love but he might not want to plaster it all over. I understand how you want to but i also understand how he dosent think its a big deal. just try to let it go because he might break up with you if you become annoying.


Also does he act different with you around his friends if he does he might be afraid of being made fun of. or he dosent want his possibly overprotective parents to see

[john]

It's not necessarily a bad thing to not have your status be "in a relationship" on facebook. He is right, it ruins relationships as I've experienced before. It mainly happens because other people become jealous of other's happiness and try to spilt a happy couple apart. But it does sound suspicious that he checks that lady's texts during sex and pauses a video game. He could be good friends with her or he could be trying to date her, which sounds like a good reason why he checks his messages during sex. If you feel doubtful, simply check his messages. If he freaks out, then he's more likely cheating or trying to cheat. Hope it helps, and best of luck!

[Destinee Reines]

You are putting too much importance on facebook and what other people think. He is with you, that should be enough. People aren't trophies to show off on stupid facebook. I did myself a huge favor by deleting my account over 6 months ago, and I eliminated a good 99% of my stress. The further 1% has come along by people who much like you, also placed too much importance on their facebooks. No one is allowed to post pictures of my daughter or talk about her on facebook. I told them all if the only joy they are experiencing through my child is by the attention they receive from others on facebook then they have some issues they need to seek resolution to.

[Ralph]

"...meet up randomly is after work, and that's for sex..." I think you got your answer from your own question. I don't think you can see the forest for the trees. "...by vehicle (and I'm the only one that drives, of course." You are useful. You are a FWB. Get use to it, or leave the relationship. Your choice.