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relationship issue - forgetting the past?
05-02-2014, 11:27 AM
Post: #1
relationship issue - forgetting the past?
I am a 28 year old guy staying in india who is about to get engaged to a girl who i met on a matrimony website and have been dating since two months. we started dating after meeting on the matrimony website and fell in love and everything happened very fast. i met her parents and they liked me. somewhere after a month in our relationship i found that many guys were kind of flirting with her based on her wall posts and photos in the recent past before i met her. it affected me bcos ive had a bad past with respect to relationships. i let her know about it and although she felt i was over reacting, she said she loves me a lot and she closed her fb account. we didn't argue on it anymore and there were times when i asked her to reactivate her fb but she said she didn't feel like it.

during these two months she has been intimate with me, including physically (not all the way to intercourse as we want to save it after marriage). we got physical only after getting sure that we both were really into each other and after meeting her parents and talking with my parents and deciding to go ahead with it.

yesterday i was travelling with her and her parents in a 14 hour journey in train for formal introduction to my moms place and a nightmare happened. just before reaching, i was just going through her phone and i found a sex chat with some guy on her facebook messenger. the time of the chat was 10 days after she and I met via the matrimony site but before the time that we declared love for each other. when i confronted her with it, her first reaction was to snatch back the phone. next was she was saying its nothing (she meant the guy means nothing to her) and that it was spur of the moment kinda talk and then started apologizing n almost begging me not to leave. the timing of her talk was at a questionable time bcos we were not in a relationship but we had started interacting with each other, 10 days down the line.

anyways their stay at my moms place was rest assured awkward. her parents knew that something was amiss. they asked us what was wrong. i had to ultimately tell her father that such a thing happened and that i am not sure if i want to go ahead with the marriage.
her father was obviously very mad at her. although we managed to keep things undercover from my mom, i was devastated by it. in privacy i confronted her and she cried buckets of tears. she apologized a lot a said that only i matter to her and its the past n she assured me it wont happen again. in the morning they left. i stopped speaking to her but she asked a lot to try and forgive. i said many rude things to her which put her character into question. she took the insults and abuses without arguing with me. i kept questioning her character and kept guessing her relationship with other guys. ultimately she gave up saying that i needed to trust her a bit and that
what she had with the guy was nothing, and only i mattered. she said that although she loves me a lot, out of self respect, she is prepared to call it quits with me.

her bother came to know about this. he was surprisingly neutral and told me that she was wrong but has apologized. she wont do it again and said that if i don't trust her then we should stop thinking about the future. she said she is not willing to end this because she loves me way too much. i asked to end it.

after sometime i thought over whatever happened. i got a text from her and she said that she is really sorry. and that her life would be incomplete without me. and that she wont be happy without me.

i love this girl a lot and we have had a very good time together. after she was with me i found no reason whatsoever to complain about anything. based on that i decided i should forgive her and move on.

here is whats happening. the texts which i read with that guy are haunting me. they were romantic as well as sexual in nature. i cant seem to get those out of my head.
i feel i have forgiven her but those texts r in my head and messing with my mind so badly i don't know what to do.

i don't wanna let this girl go because i love her and so does she and i have seen that love during the time she was with me.

i want to forget what i read and want us to move on, but am unable to do so. my entire body trembles when i think about it.

please provide your thoughts and suggestions.

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05-02-2014, 11:43 AM
Post: #2
 
yeah
first of all let me congratulate u DAT u found or true love n even got it approved from both of ur families
well no human being is flawless n I can say for sure DAT marriage is a relation based on love n trust k n love is something which cannot go hand in hand with doubt anytime.....wen u doubt then u can&#x27;t love her completely
its fact DAT we all might have commited a mistake like dreaming about heroine r classmate r any other girl......so it might be one such mistake of hers
if u love her truly n if she&#x27;s sure of being committed to u alone after marriage then there&#x27;s no point in thinking about past .......
remember dear we never know which is d last day of our lives so why not we live it with people we love so dat we need not regret before we finish our journey of life .......Smile
this is wat I feel coz very few people will have d luck if having their true love in their life so ....its upto ur wisdom to make ur life
all d best n take care n plz excuse me if any of my words hurt

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