My Friend/Exgf thinks I am her soul mate, what do I do?

[GreekTTT]

I dated a girl from Germany for 5 years. If you dont want to read the whole the then perhaps just read the last paragraph.

After 3 years of only seeing each other in the summer time, the relationship could not really develop any further than what we were. In fact we kind of regressed from dating to really good friends who only "dated" when we saw each other in the summer. Then I went to college and she started working, we remained very good friends basically having facebook/skype just to talk to each other but slowly she and I could see us changing little by little because of our environment.

I wasnt there and she wasnt here, in which I have learned that relationships are all about timing or in other words being at the right place at the right time. If you cant spend time with someone than you cant develop the relationship further and it becomes stagnant. No matter how well we connected we couldnt fight distractions, we were tired of being "alone" and so we both kind of starting seeing other people while still being good friends. Luckily for both for we did it at about the same time (me first) and we werent really hurt by it. We both knew this would eventually be the outcome because we told each other it would be.

So I have a really good friend that lives on the other side of the world, even though we both are not seeing anyone right now I think we both would want to date each other if we could and I know this because Ive asked her before and so has she.

I just recently messaged her and asked her again about dating just to prove that we would come to the same conclusion that we want to date each other but it doesnt work because we are so far away from each other and that we both wouldnt really go through with it unless we could actually be around each other and unfortunately thats never going to happen. Im not leaving America, because I have to much here and shes not leaving Germany for the same reason. Until recently she has been sending me a lot of messages/called me on skype, in a rather depressing manner about how she has had no luck with guys etc. etc. and she thinks I am her soul mate. The thing is I dont really believe in that, Ive never really seen her in this type of obsessive/illogical manner. She was actually looking at plane tickets to come to America, which I have no problems with that I want to see her but I think she will actually try to stay here or move here (she wouldnt be able to unless she stayed with me) I dont know if Im ready for that or if I even want that, its all so sudden. What should I say to her to make her postpone/avert from this?

[VTer]

Oh man. This story illustrates why men and women should NOT be "friends." One person always wants more.

It sounds like she doesn't have a whole lot going on in Germany. She is pinning all her life hopes on you. She is hoping to come to America and live happily ever after with you.

Get clear with her, you owe her that much. Tell her that it's NOT a good idea for her to come to America. Tell her you are sorry, but it's never going to work romantically. Good luck.

[Priceless]

wow im in the same boat as your friend/exgf so i can imagine what she is going through ... she thinks you are her soul mate maybe she feels emotionally connected or attached with you .. if you really like dont let your fears over take cos its either now or never.. once you loose her it will be very difficult for you to get back with her .. maybe you could tell her that you would really love to see her but give it some time .. see if the two of you could meet half across somewhere or even if she is coming and you are afraid that she stays with you tell her that she wont be able to stay with u she needs to check in a hotel etc .. speak to her and be clear with things ask her for how long will she be staying etc