Should I cut off inlaws?

[D]

My 3 sister inlaws and mil have been trouble since my engagement. It's 4 years later and they are still causing problems. We have a baby and they are continually getting mad because we won't change her nap and bedtime schedule to go to family functions. My husband and I have asked them to work around them (nap is 1-3 and bedtime routine is 6-7 then she's in bed) but they won't. We keep getting nasty texts about how I take too long breastfeeding when we do go over, how it's wrong that I bring the baby downstairs away from the adults to play with her younger cousins, one has even texted saying we need to rethink a babysitter even though she doesn't know her and hasn't met her. I put a post on facebook asking for advice because my baby wouldn't sleep and my mil interpreted that post as me calling her a bad mother because I didn't ask her advice and she proceded to tell another person that's what I meant by the post. My mil came over to try to work things out and instead it was a huge argument with lots of yelling for four hours where she insulted me in front of our baby multiple times and when she wasn't getting her way (my husband was standing up for me), she threatened suicide. I can't take anymore of this emotional abuse. They keep talking about me amongst themselves, making up lies about me and even telling other people outside the immediate family horrible things about me that are untrue. I want to cut them out of my life completely now. Is it wrong to cut them off?
Ps: I told my husband he can go see them as much as he wants to, I just don't want to attend any function where they will be present. I also don't want my daughter around them unless my husband is present and it is in our home. I'm willing to even leave when they come over. In the past it's been the same thing. They twist anything I do or say into something totally wrong. Have you cut off your inlaws? How did it work if you did? Same thing happened during the planning of our wedding and Igave in
MIL = mother in law
My husband stood by me until his mom threatened suicide. He's currently not talking to them but I have a feeling it's not going to last for long. He's already planning on going to get his sister a birthday gift so there goes that. I really really don't want him to stop communicating or being with his family at all though, but I would like him to support the fact that I don't want me or my daughter around them

[swbarnes2]

Yeah. They sound awful. But you really need to get your husband on board.

[Bluebell]

By the sound of things u have tryed to talk and all that so the thing is now to us cut all ties and forget the family they sound really nasty and why should u up root your baby to please them and it's like they no your times what u can't do and have all these party's so it makes it harder fir u to go so them they can gave a pop at u time to say good bg to I laws there more like out laws

[fizixx]

What is a/an "mil"?

So.....these idiots actually piѕs-and-moan over breast-feeding and nap time?!

Every family has the complimentary pain-in-the-aѕѕ. You have to speak to these people and set things straight. If you can change anything....then go ahead, but if you can't.....oh well...you can't.

Everything is about compromise.

[comingbacksoon]

I think the underlying issue is they feel they lost control of your husband and so now want to have the stakes on your children. Good on your hubby for standing by you..he deserves a medal. Might be time to move from the area where there is less stress.

[Dark Lady]

I have not cut them off completely, but will not give in to their demands either. I made it clear to mine that they have to call ahead of time to visit, not just pop in unannouced and think I need to do as they say. I also do not go to their house,or functions they set up. I do not stop my husband from seeing them as often as he wishes, which isnt much because of how they treat me.

[Patricia]

There is nothing wrong with severing relationships with toxic people. You do what you need to do. Meanwhile, if your husband goes to a function with his family over the years, it's certainly not a good idea to deny the child time with relatives, unless the child emphatically states "I do not want to go!". By denying her right to visit relatives, you're starting out on the wrong foot -- she needs freedom to make decisions.

Also, i wonder how the family could visit in your home, if you sever ties with them? Just curious.

Accept these people for the lunatics they are, and focus on other things. Once you accept the fact they are not going to change, you will stop expecting them to change. It's true.