Missing my ex after 2 years? Honest opinions?

[Alex]

It might be a bit long but I'd appreciate your honest answers to my issue. I'm going to summarize the kind of relationship we had.

We were never officially "girlfriend and boyfriend", we just really liked each-other. I think I might have more though.

So a friend of mine (friend from long ago) didn't like that I was single and knew a girl at his school that was apparently "just what I was looking for." I saw a picture of her on Facebook and I really liked her, she was cute, blonde with blue eyes, and very innocent looking. My friend knew I don't prefer women who are bomb shells, but that I preferred girls who were cute and down to earth. We began talking on Facebook and we became very attached. To the point where we would talk everyday. I asked her to a date 2 months after consistent talking, she accepted but we never got a chance to and it was her fault. She stood me up several times (3 times) because she was afraid of her parents finding out and she would get in trouble. Being the helpless romantic I am, I tried to shake it off although I was bothered and made it clear the 3rd time that I was very angry about it. She apologized sincerely and it was a part of the past. One day during the summer I go to a carnival with my friends (she happened to show up with her mom). She blushed a blush I've never seen. And her deep blue eyes captivated me. I noticed her before any of my friends did (they all had classes with her) and I had never seen her in person. That blonde hair I'll never not notice a mile away. The next school year I switched to her school (something I planned to do before I met her). We saw each-other and occasionally talked and hugged.

I told her it was time to take it to the next step, we should be in a relationship, I knew her better than any of her best friends and cared about her good more than my own. She said she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment and she wants things to stay as they are. We arranged twice to hang out at school, both times she stood me up in front of her friends while I went to pick her up. Saying, "Sorry, Alex. I can't today." She preferred to be with her friends apparently. I was very angry. I'm patient but I'm no fool. I refused to be taken for granted. I started becoming colder with her and she began to notice. Eventually I told her I can't go on like this, I said, "What's the point? Am I a dog who sits around and follows his master around? No. I'm a man who is a gentleman but refuses to be taken advantage of." I stopped replying to her texts and calls and she understood the message.

I talked to her for 7 months. Not one date, nothing.

She messaged me a few months later saying she's sorry and that she wants to talk to me again. She said she's trying to look a things from my perspective and she didn't want me to leave her life. I told her, "Can you promise me something will come of the two of us." She said she can't. And she basically pushed me into the same position I was in before. I said no sorry I have to move on. She said she understands and she's sorry again. She said, "I know I'll regret this when I see you happy with someone else, you're a great guy."

I dream of this girl so much. It's been two years since we stopped talking and I still occasionally dream of her. When we were talking, I dreamed about her at least several times a week. She swept my dreams, left me speechless everyday. I really did like her.

I lost my group of friends as well...(One went on marijuana and dated a drug addict girl I warned him to stay away from, the other two left the school I don't know why.)

So I'm kind of alone now. I don't have any friends I can be close with or share deep conversations with. I spend a lot of time exercising and training (I used to do a lot of martial arts and now I hit the gym) I'm quite muscular and I'd say I've been complimented on my looks before plenty of times. So I figured moving on would be easy, but like I said ill always notice that blonde hair from a mile away.

I asked her if she wanted to grab some coffee about 2 weeks ago over Facebook the other day and she asked if I leave school early, I replied I do and she said okay she'll let me know. I didn't get an answer two days after so I deleted my Facebook. I'm thinking of confronting her about it, just greet her and say, "Hey, how've you been." And after that exchange of words say, "Hey listen you never let me know about the coffee. Is that a yes or a no?"

I can't help it. I only see her in the ENTIRE school. I've tried moving on, not sure if I can while I'm still in high school. (I'm a junior). What's your opinion? Thank you.

[Brett]

You're only a baby, you're too young to be worried about such things. You were never dating so, Don't you dare let her say she doesn't want you out of her life. That's tough luck, she can't have it both ways, She doesn't want you and she doesn't want anyone else to have you either.

Move on, deal with it, you're still a kid. Concentrate on School, graduate, find someone who shares your feelings.

[Kristen]

Maybe it's for the best that you didn't really meet her not knowing what she is Like

[759]

hmmm bro, try to move on harder, it sounds like she is officially done, so shall you too if she says no she can't to your question, Im sorry I had to say but its the reality fact bro, and you can be my friend, buddy I hope you getta girlfriend(s), and may God be with you.

[Ileana]

Ok. So you yourself told her once that you are a gentleman and you refuse to be used. Still, you let yourslef get used and stood up every time !!
Please PLEASE move on ! There is no future with that girl. She is just not interested in you and all that she wants from you is a friend.
I am sure there are many other girls out there but since you said that there is no way you cannot notice that blonde hair, I suggest you to change your school !!
Still, If you want to be on terms with her, please try being her friend, dont try to take things forward. Or else, it will be you in the end who will end up feeling lost and used.

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