Lesbians, ever fallen for a girl who then turns trans?

[Tarah]

So here’s the thing. I’m a 21 year old lesbian who’s been out for about two years. I'm comfortable with that label and myself. I tried being bisexual. I tried being asexual. I tried not labeling it, but that was me in denial and I’m someone who’s actually comfortable with the lesbian label. I love men, but not romantically.

So here’s the thing. A little over a year ago, I started having a crush on a girl at school. I’d seen her around school, stalked her on Facebook, stalked her at school, but never talked to her because she had a girlfriend. About a year later, I find a chance to talk to her cause we both joined the Pride group at school. I went to a meeting and saw her, but things were different. The features were slightly different. The voice was deeper. Turns out she was a he, a trans man. That night he added me on Facebook. Then we ended up having classes together and start talking. We're really good friends now, he's really cool, but the crush might still be there. It's not love or really strong feelings so I'm not worried yet, but there's something there.

It's not like he looks completely different now. He has the same gorgeous hazel eyes, the same cute smile, and now I've gotten to know him and love his personality. Timing is the issue I guess. Not to be a dick, but I wish I had known him when he was physically female, cause I totally would've fucked him. He's pre op, but that doesn't make him any more or less 'fuckable'. I like the female body, but I'd rather fuck someone who likes their body. His personality, even though that of a man, is kind of female probably because he had to adapt to being female for a while and still has a lot of female friends. A lot of lesbian friends (because he identified as lesbian for a while). That's probably why I 'like' him. I don't know

So the point, I guess, is I'm not some lesbian falling for a trans guy. I'm a lesbian who fell for a girl who then became a trans man. We've been friends for a few months now, and I most likely just need to meet a girl to get over this, but I just needed to form these weird feelings into words and see if anyone else in the world relates.

[774]

You said: "I'm a lesbian who fell for a girl who then became a trans man."

Correction. You fell for someone you thought was a girl.

A transsexual man is a man who was born into a female body, but he was never a girl, his brain has always been male.

Lesbians don't date men.
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[Just Another Soul]

I'm sure lots of other people have experienced something similar to this. If you want to read a blog by a trans dude and his wife (she used to identify as a lesbian, before he came out and transitioned), here's a link: http://firsttimesecondtime.com

Something that I heard recently at a queer conference that really resonated with me was this quote by Robin Ochs (a bi activist) "It's important to remember that our labels are adjectives and not nouns. They can be useful, but they should never confine you. You should never have to work to fit within the label." Human beings are complicated. Our identities are complicated. Labels are simple. They are simply not capable of summing up all that we are or all that we are might be. Don't let your label box you in, it works for you, not the other way around.

Keep in mind that I'm not trying to tell you that you aren't going to soon get over him or anything. Just that you don't need to justify to yourself why you like a boy. It's fine if you do. It doesn't make you any less you.

[Lily R]

Yeah, I can relate.

Well I'm a male-to-female transsexual and I also identify as a lesbian and like when I was 16 I met this girl called Sid. We dated for a few months but she dumped me on the account of her feeling depressed and I was gutted. For a few years she was depressed, from me being 17 (she dumped me a week after my 17th birthday up until me being 20), she even attempted suicide Easter 2010.

Anyway when i was 20 after a few months of being incommunicado (we had kept in touch but due to her depression she kept disappearing) she got back in touch and told me HE is a female-to-male transsexual and I was so shocked cos I never saw it coming and also what are the chances, lol.

But yeah, I can relate.