Should I return to the psych ward?

[626]

I have bipolar, borderline personality, and I am going through some alcohol withdrawal. I am going to call the doctor tonight. I am 25 and been in the psych unit 44 times so you can imagine that I am trying to avoid it. But the problem is that I really don't know that I have ever felt this bad before. Every night I drive all over and just talk myself out of killing myself. And it is an extreme battle. I have no friends, and people on Facebook have been deleting me because they don't want to listen to some of the things I say on there. I am absolutely convinced that NO ONE likes me anymore. That they just put up with me. I have been feeling so bad that I don't even think the hospital can help me. I am afraid I will come out and still decide to kill myself because I have NOTHING. I feel like no one cares. And that makes me want to die. At night I have severe thoughts of jumping off the bridge and I am a little irrational. I try to tell myself to go to the hospital, but I won't do that either. I am convinced the hospital cannot help me. But at the same time I feel so out of control that I feel I could seriously take my own life at any minute. I just feel so hopeless. Like absolutely everyone hates me, and the sad part is that I think that is accurate. So what is there really to live for? What should I do?

[Bella]

You know one of my favorite quotes is "before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by as$holes.". Sigmund Freud came up with that. Just because people delete you off Facebook or you don't really have any friends does not mean you are at fault for it. You just have yet to find real friends that will put up with whatever. That's something you need to simply give time. Sometimes things in life simply won't knock, so then you just have to build your own door, then open it. Meaning sometimes you have to go out and find people yourself. Or whatever your problem might be.

Hospitals won't do a thing except evaluate and medicate you. The hospitals job is to stabilize you to the point where for the meantime people can function normally in society (I work as a medical assistant in my state psych center intake). If you feel like you can't take it anymore, it may be for the best to go back.


What's there really to live for? You tell me. Just because you can't think of something doesn't mean there isn't anything out there for you. Are you married, kids, employed? Maybe a student? You have to find something to occupy yourself with.

What I tell emergency patients that get typically brought in by the police for trying to end it all (even though I am not really supposed to talk to them) is us as humans have a purpose in life. Regardless of what your religious or belief background is that we somehow ended up on this earth for a reason. If there were no reason why would we be here? No point in making a group of happy people then a group of unhappy people. Life is exactly what you want to make out of it. I wouldn't quite give up yet if I were you. Try to get out and find more friends, take up some different courses, switch jobs if you even need to. Try to fix what's bothering you. If you can't do it on your own, find someone to help you.