To add or not to add? FB etiquette advice needed!?

[567]

I had an Aussie friend. He went back home last week. The day before he left he asked me round his flat (his gf was in Paris). We'd kissed a couple of times before & both knew what we were doing...we wanted each other, we were special to each other & we wanted to say goodbye properly. 

Do I look like a desperate loser to add him on fb now? Im not going to discuss what happened as i dont want to seem needy. Its been 10 days since he left & hes travelling round europe (with gf) before he gets home. Should I add or wait and see if he adds me?

[Linds]

You can go ahead and add him and then wait to see if he accepts. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

He might be a little hesitant to add you if he thinks maybe you will say something and his girlfriend will figure it out. But take the chance, there's no harm in it.

[Hello]

well his got a gf put your self in her position how would you feel?
but if you have clean intentions yeah add him im sure theres nothing rong with tthat

[Evan Long]

If he has a girlfriend, you should probably just drop it and pretend it never happened. If he leaves his girlfriend, then awesome, pursue him then, but until then you should just leave it alone. Not a good idea to do "stuff" with someone that already has a girlfriend, just causes trouble.

[Sally]

Just add him! You have nothing to lose. If he doesnt accept you then thats fine you know in your heart that you tried. A friend request from you will keep you in his mind at the very least.
From your question, I am not sure if you are intrested in him or just want friendship. Only you can know that but as far as fb etiquette a request now is the best thing to do.

Good Luck

[199]

I think you are missing the forest because of the trees, sweetie...

This guy doesnt want you to add him on fb, and is hoping to actually not hear from you again. If you add him, it's going to create problems for him and his gf. If he didnt want to be with her, he'd have broken up with her loooong ago. What you had was just "side action" for him... just strictly to feed his ego, and for the attention he was getting from you. That's all. You can keep in contact, but for what?? If he comes to visit again, ok great, but he will still have a gf, and will go ahead and take whatever you offer. But again, that's all. When a man likes a woman, he will PURSUE her. Not the other way around. I would distract your thoughts of him. I know you may THINK that both of you wanted to be "proper" about your goodbyes, but honey, he is already improper...because he has a girlfriend. Don't be a fool; don't keep contact with this man. Good luck.

[Mary Sheffield]

You deff. don't want to seem needy towards him, so give it a month or two, and if it's still bothering you, request him, you might want to add the gf also so she doesnt suspect anything.....just to be nice.

[TheoRyz]

If your name is really Dave and you kissed someones boyfriend then that girl needs to know shes dating a homosexual.

[Leon Phelps]

Tough question. I'm not super-savvy with FB, but I think you can find him on there and send him a personal message. Perhaps you could do that?

I'm a big fan of being direct... and I think you can reach out and ask him if he would be OK with it in a way that doesn't make him feel "cornered." The fact that you said you have no intention of mentioning what happened seems sincere to me, and I'd guess that would be his biggest concern. If you disarm that, maybe he would feel happy and relieved too?

Or, you could just send him a low-key "hope you are having fun in Europe" personal message and see how he responds. He might add you as a friend without you even asking.

One thing: How was he after your goodbye? Did he seem uncomfortable, guilty, agitated, upset? That might give you a clue as to how receptive he will be.

Good luck!