How to gain twitter followers 100% FREE and fast?

[The]

Hey! So i have a twitter page which is what i have fun with, but i have less than 200 followers, and ppl keep unfollowing me which disturbs me a lot...I don't mean to compliment myself but my tweets are really funny, and their for men only(mentioned in name and bio)...0 RT & 0 Fav for every single tweet!!! I tried many sites like twiends.com/300followers.com/etc..but it's not guaranteed(spell check)bcz i follow 50 ppl to gain 2 followers -__-anw, i tried following "gain followers" accounts (which was very dumb)and that also gave me only few...please don't suggest buying followers...and please suggest things that will guarantee gaining acceptable amount of REAL followers....not like "Yo man, follow the people who rt men humor's tweets..some may follow back" which i got last time

Thank you

[G]

Tweet something useful.

[Tomas]

Have sexual relations with a dog or something you shouldn't have sex with and make a porno out of it. Or eat a tampon with blood or something you should not eat.