Boy problems!? Need girl advice?

[409]

Hey so I'm a high schooler and I met this guy on facebook that goes to my school we started talking on fb just as friend then it turns out he started getting feelings for me and I told him that I don't want a bf but I would still like to be his friend, he stopped talking to me and I felt bad so I had someone send him a candy gram with a rose and letter telling him I wanted to keep talking to him and then after that he messaged me and we were cool again and then he told me he liked me again and I nicely told him I don't want a bf again. I really liked this guy as a friend and now he's trying to make me jealous by talking to other girls, hugging girls in my face and he even went out with some girl after we stopped talking. Idk what's his problem, I just want to be his friend, I have really good grades and I feel like a bf is going to just hold me back, books over boys anyday! But I still want to be his friend, idk what I should do, talk to him? I don't want us to stop talking I just want us to be friends and talk again but if I message him I don't want to look thirsty because this is going to the second time I message him wanting to be his friend. Any advice would be nice! thanks

[James W.]

It sounds like he wants more than friendship. I wouldn't spend time worrying about it. You're right, books over boys - you really don't have time for a boyfriend at this point and did you know that less than two percent of high school sweethearts who marry end up having a 50 year marriage?

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when you're eventually considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!