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Can you send your counsellor a letter to say thank you/how you are doing?
05-13-2014, 09:04 AM
Post: #1
Can you send your counsellor a letter to say thank you/how you are doing?
I haven't seen my counsellor for over 2 years now - she left to go on maternity leave and I have left the university now that I saw her at as she is a counsellor at the university service. I am now doing a postgraduate course and I would like to write her a letter to say thank you as I wouldn't have got through university and graduated let alone get where I am today without her.
I haven't spoken to her since our last counselling session. It has been so so hard but as she left to go on maternity leave I did not want to bother her.
I do still have her email but wasn't sure if email or letter would be better?
If I did, would she reply do you think?

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05-13-2014, 09:19 AM
Post: #2
 
I think it would be ok if it was an email or letter. If you reference anything you considered private in therapy you are thanking her for then a letter would be better. Sending an e mail is ok, but many emails are read by someone other than person it is stickly intended for. In fact, many people make fun of their &#x27;stalker bosses&#x2F;HR people because software companies make programs made to monitor emails to keep down theft of private info and defend against other problems.
If you chose snail mail avoid cards because many people see cards as gifts. I think giving therapist and prior therapist gifts is frowned on. But I think letting her know you appreciate her is a great idea. I would have trouble finding a problem with saying thankyou!

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05-13-2014, 09:29 AM
Post: #3
 
Hi Jess. If you want to send a thank you card or letter then of course you are allowed to. Make sure you remind her where she saw you and the year, as she may have seen hundreds of clients since. It's best to fill her in on what you're doing now so that she knows how well you're doing and thank her for her help getting there. A card is not classed as a gift, but anything else would be so no trinkets or photos are allowed. Don't try and send her weekly updates on your life either x

Unfortunately she will be unable to reply to you. This would be seen as developing a relationship with a former client. Whilst it's not illegal in the UK it is not permitted by the The BACP Register of Counsellors & Psychotherapists. Your old counsellor is bound by the Ethical Framework for Good Practice in Counselling & Psychotherapy which does state that friendships with former clients are prohibited. She would risk her job and accreditation with BACP if she started a friendship now. This includes befriending on Facebook.

I know how hard it is when someone you trusted and cared about has to move on, it's like a bereavement. 17 years ago I had a support worker who said that I had to hurry up and well so that we could go out together as friends. We had a great relationship but she had to move away before my support had finished. My last support worker left me a couple of years ago and she knew that however well we got on it wasn't allowed and we simply had to hug and say goodbye. I really miss her but her job doesn't allow personal relationships and I've never seen her again.

Best wishes, A x
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