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317 · 05-13-2014, 10:25 AM

My GF cheated on me last year , i was seperated from my wife for 3 years while i was meeting my GF , i caught her through her FB inbox and when confronted her she said she did it because i wasnt divorced yet (only seperated) and didnt feel i was truly commited to her , we are back together and i forgave her but honestly i cant stop thinking of it , i am constantly giving her a hard time and doubting her everytime she moves her lips , how can i truly forgive and forget....

Jasper · 05-13-2014, 10:36 AM

Well has she apologized to you? If you cannot stop thinking then you have not truly forgave her.

MePlus3 · 05-13-2014, 10:40 AM

First, you will never forget. A traumatic situation like this is unforgettable, but you can learn to forgive and you can learn to move on. If you want the relationship to work, you have to learn to forgive and move on. otherwise, as you know, it will haunt you in all ways. She has to understand that what she did has caused you to have doubts about her trust, however, she must feel the same way about you, if you have been separated for 3 years and still not divorced. Sounds like you may need to make some decisions about how you want to end one relationship before you decide to continue with this one. Best of luck...you are in a tough spot.

AlwaysHope · 05-13-2014, 10:42 AM

You both were cheating. You on your wife, because divorce was not final you were still legally married, and your mistress cheated on you. If you expect her to forgive you, then you have to forgive her.

Katie Harwood · 05-13-2014, 10:55 AM

Her excuse on why she cheated on you was so petty, just because you weren't divorced didn't mean you were still sleeping with your wife! My opinion is to leave her, as hard as it sounds you will have to, you can't trust anything she says and does, you can't be with someone if you can't trust them.

Jay · 05-13-2014, 11:04 AM

There are two dynamics going on here. One is that although it had been 3 years, you never actually divorced your wife. She was right to wonder about that because if your marriage was over then why wasn't it truly done? The second dynamic is that her using that as an excuse to cheat is bogus. She would have cheated even if you had been divorced from your wife. It's not like she would have become suddenly committed and loyal to you as soon as you signed the divorce papers.