Are me and my girlfriend going to break up eventually?

[252]

My girlfriend is going to go to California this Summer and that's were she is from and has a ton of friends over there that like to party, and then next year she will be going to college. But we got into an argument/discussion about that she is going to want to go to parties and drink and smoke and live that life. Honestly I don't want her to be doing any of that and especially without me. I understand that if she wants to go to college and live that college life that she can. I wont hold her back but I don't want to be a part of it or her if she is. Am I making the right decision? Will this be a problem in the future? And should I get ready for a break up?

[Cristina]

Yes, you are making the right decision. It can turn out to be a problem in the future if she starts getting sick of you telling her not to do that. Girls classify it as nagging. I dont think you are going to break up with her, but if she doesnt include you in her plans for the future, then chances are yes, shes not going to stay with you.

[Josh]

In all honesty bro I had the same problem all I can tell you is to be the best bf you can an if she can't go without partying an doing that stuff she's not the one for you true love will compromise for each other think on it what do you really do at parties? Parties are for single people if you are in a commited relationship partying with out you bf/gf is not a great idea hope for the best bro....but prepare for the worse

[Monica]

I think you guys will break up eventually. People change so much after high school and through college. It is hard to keep a relationship through that time even when both live in the same area and go to the same school. It is unfortunate but it is the truth. Most people who party enjoy being single and having a free lifestyle. It seems like that is what she wants right now in her life.

[Keif]

Honestly i think you should prepare yourself for break up because that life she is trying to live "without" you is more of a single lifestyle and she will want to experience other things also. Everything happens for a reason not by accident

[samiamrd]

First are you and your girlfriend going to break up. Yes, eventually. Not because of drinking, smoking or partying, but because you two need to grow up. And that is the only problem that you will have to deal with. You both will grow and change especially in college. Often that growth shows you who you want to be and at the end of that personal growth, each of you will ask wether this is the direction that you want to go in your life. Sometimes you grow together because you have a better understanding of your future, and sometimes you grow apart. In any event you will come to realize who you want in your life, and how your going to live your life with timelines about family, friends, and jobs.

So what should you do? I assume that she might be a year older or is going to a different college. The first thing that you need to do is to encourage and support her going to college, whereever she wants. support her in her dreams for her future life and the career that she wants to persue. Will she do that career, most likely no, but you need to support that anyway. There is a good chance that she will change her career aspirations once she goes to college, but you need to support her in whatever decision she makes. Always-always be positive and supporting. She needs to learn and grow and that is what college is about. What you need to be is her loyal friend who always supported her. You are her one true love and she will evenually realize that, but you must be positive about her and whatever she wants to do. If you two are to have a future, you both need to realize that neither of you held each other back in life. If you want your future children to avoid the poverty trap, you need to make sure of three things, She needs to go to college and finish with a degree, she needs to get a full time job, and she needs to be married before she had a child. As for you, you need to do those things as well. You need to go to college, learn and grow as a person through the experience. You also need to get a degree in something. A degree in something demonstrates to all future employers that you are trainable, it is the magic key to future jobs. Also you need to grow into who you will become and you need a wide view of the world to do that. College is where you get that. It does not matter if your a year or two behind your girlfriend. Those few years do not matter as long as your timelines match up on the other side of college.

Should you get ready for a breakup. Yes and no. There is always the possibility that you will break up, so from that aspect, you always need to be ready, however, they always come at the worst time. So don't plan for a breakup, but if one comes, dont get mad, just say that "you understand and that you love her." She may evenually find out that you were the best person for her. However, don't provoke a breakup, unless if that is what you want. Just live today and enjoy the relationship as it is. No one knows what the future will bring, so you need to live in this relationship as if it is the best thing ever. Just enjoy this time, because there will never be another like this one. You will always remember your first serious relationship.

[Boys Town]

Long distance relationships can be hard. There are no easy answers. To find solutions it is best to reach out and let others know your thoughts and hear what others have done in situations similar to yours. So good job reaching out here today and moving closer to find an emotional solution for yourself.

All healthy relationships have a common trait of being able to say what you feel and know that the other person respects your feelings and thoughts on the subject you are talking about, this does not mean you will agree on everything, of course. You are only responsible for your part of the relationship. And she is responsible for her part. You did a good job letting her know how you feel about her going away to college. Hopefully she will think about what you discussed and make a healthy decision for herself and ultimately for your relationship.

You should feel good about establishing a boundary with her regarding her choice of socializing when she is at school. You know that "partying" is something you do not want to partcipate in. Good job on that decision for yourself, remember To thine own self be true. Hopefully she will allow this to influence her decisions about the future.

Good luck with this and if you have any further issues please do not hesitate to call the Boys Town National Hotline. We are here 24/7, help is only a phone call away.

Be strong,
Maya Counselor

Boys Town National Hotline
http://www.YourLifeYourVoice.org
1-800-448-3000
Friend us on FACEBOOK today &
Access the live on-line support feature on http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org 7:30-11p CST M-Th
This message is privileged and confidential and is intended only for the use of the addressee. Unauthorized use of this message is strictly prohibited. If you received this transmission in error, please immediately contact the sender and destroy the message. Thank you.




















































Maya, Counselor

Boys Town National Hotline
http://www.YourLifeYourVoice.org
1-800-448-3000
Friend us on FACEBOOK today &
Access the live on-line support feature on http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org 7:30-11p CST M-Th
This message is privileged and confidential and is intended only for the use of the addressee. Unauthorized use of this message is strictly prohibited. If you received this transmission in error, please immediately contact the sender and destroy the message. Thank you.