I'm arguing with my friends, who is right? Help ASAP will be appreciated.?

[Deleted]

So I'm gonna tell the whole story because i'm quite upset and fired up.

So I have a lot of Facebook friends, From ages 11 to 16. I am not exaggerating when I say all of them, ALL of them are depressed or self-harming, etc, and constantly coming to me for help. (If you wanna know the truth, I think/know some of them are doing it for attention.) Well, I've been depressed (a few years ago) but I've never self-harmed. But this stuff brings me down. A lot. And I've recently found that when I'm offline, I am MUCH happier than I am when I'm on here. Well several of them are pissed at me now because I'm "not there for them, I don't care, I'm being selfish" etc. I made a post in our group so everyone can see that said,

"Guys, I can't take it anymore. No I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad and I'm not mad. But I've been so much happier offline than I am when I'm on. I'm just tired of seeing depressing things and trying to stop people from hurting themselves when it does no good. I love ya'll to death. But I can't do it. It brings me down. And in the long run, I'm not responsible for anyone but myself. I just CANT keep doing this. It does no good anyway. We'll talk, you're alright, then the next day it's the exact same thing. You guys need to make your own changes in your life. You can't rely on everyone else for happiness, okay? I love you all. Goodbye."

Now they're all pissed at me and said I'm not even trying to help them. Am I right, or are they? Advice??
No but the thing is we're constantly talking about it. And I can't tell parents or teachers because we're only internet friends.

[Poo]

i think you're more right. if you're happier offline then stay online but you should still be there for them. Maybe tell their parents or text them occasionally to see how their going. Don't completely ignore them

[Kaity]

It really depends on the people......if they are doing it for attention then yeah that's a waste of your time, but if it's a serious problem DO SOMETHING. You cannot just stand around and act like you're the victim. You can't say you've helped, because you haven't. You're staying silent, so you might as well be cutting them. Tell their parents, teachers, ect.

[gravity45412]

ok

[Stephanie]

you are right. you can't always be there for them, you have you own life to live. you have to do what makes you happy or else you might end up become depressed again, and that's something you defiantly don't want to go through again. let's say you do end up depressed again, will they be there for you like you have been there for them? probably not. So do what makes you happy, and if you still want to help some of your friends then do it, but don't let it get to you, I'm sure they have other friends to talk to.

[Sarah]

You're right. You should worry about your problems before they weep about theirs to yours.
Most of the time the ones who weep are doing it for attention. One time I was on a website and someone said "if I don't get these many likes I'll suicide" and she came back two days later after not getting those many likes and started saying stuff like nobody cared and that she was "emo" and a "loner".
By the way, why would they be pissed when you sounded genuine when you said you love them all? Maybe you should delete them from your friends list. It might be just me, but I can't STAND those kind of people. Unless I know that they really are going through stages of depression and are really hurting themselves. And, if they sound genuine about it. I know that's a little harsh because it's text over the internet, but if you know they're doing it for attention then confront them about it.
Confront them. If they start to get pissed at you then just know that I, and I bet a lot of other people, think you are right. If you're depressed you can talk to a counselor or teacher or adult. I'd totally back you up in my honest opinion.
If you feel bad about them being depressed and stuff, maybe you can rephrase your message and say something along the lines of "I just don't like seeing my friends depressed or self harming themselves. I know that might sound bad, but it's just that I am not a superhuman and can't help every single one of you. And, knowing this, it hurts me because I'm trying to do the best I can." something like that.
I'm sorry if this isn't good advice, but point is, you are the right one.

[i like food]

i think your right. you motivated them but they need to take the steps to get better instead of depending on everyone else. just dont go on if your happier. you helped them and you cant do anything else. its their fault if they dont realize that. if your happier offline then stay offline.

[Sheralyn L]

Self harming is and can become a very selfish condition leading friends and family into becoming codependent and feeling as stuck and as down and dark as the person who is self harming has become. You have taken the first step to getting them well as well and your self. When you break cycle it doesn't feel good to the people who are not wanting to change the cycle that are in it with you but by doing what you did you pretty much force them to make a change and stop repeating the same harmful patterns over and over, which is dragging their friend (you) down into their darkness too. If they were mature, good friends and really not wanting attention ( which your correct many cutters love attention although they refuse to admit it.) they would be seeking help by a real professional and not on a friend who clearly states that the pressure is overwhelming them although they love them and care bout them. The red flag was clearly when they got angry for you taking care of yourself. Misery loves company. Good friends love good friends to be healthy no matter what. So even though you wrote the question, I think you are a good enough friend and healthy enough person to know your taking the right path for all involved, or soon you'd be cutting with them. Lord knows that isn't the answer, is it? You could send them some numbers of the local mental health crisis line, it is confidential and they can call 24/ hours 7 days a week and if they want help they can accept it or just talk. Gets you off the hook. Your a friend not a crisis line. God Bless sweetie. Maybe you need to get into a activity or hobby that helps you feel good about yourself and meet new people. Been there and experienced the whole thing and I know it works. It's ok to keep the old friends but also make new ones too to carry you through when you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to share n activity with outside of depressing subjects. Your going through a time in your life when your need as many friends (good ones) s you can get and least supportive ones to not be around as much. It time to make a foundation for the future of friends and activities and hobbies. Spring is coming and each city has a website with classes to look into art, painting, sports, career training, yoga, hip hop, crafts, jewelry making ect. what ever is your interest they have it. Go do what you enjoy.