"fb friend" wants to be phone buddies.please help.?

[Nic]

I have a FB "friend", we went to the same grade school although i dont remember her then...we have have been communicating via FB emails and a few phone calls. We get along great!we have alot in common, have many similiar interests and values, and i genuinely enjoy our "facebook friendship".
the problem is, she wants to chat on the phone on a regular basis. she ends an email or message with "call me tomorrow"--and i often have not done so 1.) because the email wasnt read immediately and 2)i just had other stuff to do. We had a few great conversations on the phone before, but now she makes me feel bad about not calling her back, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE frequently, if not daily, in contact via FB. shes a great person, i enjoy getting to know her, but, I only know her thru FB.we dont hang out.ive tried telling her honestly and bluntly, that chatting on the phone just isnt in my schedule, but she sees me on facebook all the time and figures i do have time to chat. i dont want to her her feelings, but i dont want to feel like a bad person for not calling her on the phone. please help.

[Sierra]

I had the same situation once. Clingy people can be the worst. But, just explain to her that fb chatting is fun and all, but you don't have time for long convos on the phone. It's just the way your life is, and if she can't get over that then she is a sucky friend.

[joyce]

You can simply tell her that you're not a type of person who use to call most of the time, that you're just have your phone for emergency purposes. Btw, not calling her without explanation can stop her sooner.

[Billie]

Chatting on an internet site is one thing, talking on the phone is totally something really different, for a start its more challenging and puts more pressure on two people, so I fully understand where your coming from. Plus phone calls are going to be costly especially if they end up going on for hours.

I say email her and use words to these effects or perhaps points to point out to her :-

FB is something I can use and give my full time and attention to, whereas a phone call will inhibit something I may be doing at that time. (after all the phone takes away the choice and freedom of watching telly instead, or getting prepared for the next day at college or work). Plus if someone comes around. Phones are more intruding.

Phone calls can be off putting, because the conversation has to be more precise. You have to give answers there and then often without the timely leisure of really thinking out the answer. For example two good friends are not always going to be wanting to sit and talk deeply and openly all the time they are together, whereas using fb you can set your mind to that better relaxed level.

Point out that fb against phone calls give her the real deep you, your more willing to open up and say how you really feel in writing rather than words. Tell her you accept she maybe a phone person but you are not. Like I keep saying phone calls can be too intrusive at times. Someone knocks on your door, phone calls can be more off putting.

Finish by telling her you enjoy and value the way things are on fb and that right now you prefer to keep it that way.

Personally I think she is wanting to move things up one step - her idea of you using the phone gives her the excuse to invite you out, even if that is just as a friend, but it sounds to me that she is wanting to meet you in the flesh and wants to take things further than perhaps your ready to take them, and I think deep down you know or suspect this, and this is what is making you hesitant.

Try and make it simple precise and to the point, and not give the impression this is the way you'd prefer it, its the way its got to be right now. Phoning and talking verbally is a way of getting to know a person a bit more, whereas behind these internet sites, we can hide our true feelings if that is what we want, or make out we are what they want us to be - phoning is too direct if your not ready.

Hope my thoughts help, but just tell her ' sorry but no, your happy to continue with fb, but don't want to be tied down by the phone. The problem really is that right now you find a phone call too intrusive, and frankly so would I. Its not rejection, its just being open and honest, so tell her.

[Billie]

Just tell her that ur more of a txtr than a caller!!nd if she sees you on fb chat..just say ur phone keeps you log in or something..she will eventually understand..