I feel like a prize idiot for having dated this loser, how do I forgive myself?

[Drivenbydesire]

Last summer, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years because I was feeling insecure ( major self-esteem issues due to growing up in an abusive home). He was perfect, treated me like a queen and wanted to get married. I freaked out and dumped him cause I felt undeserving cause I was used to being with people who treated me like crap. He was devastated but gave me my space. Shortly after, I started seeing this guy. He was a trainwreck... 35 ( I'm 28), in debt, recovering addict, cheap ( he left me pay for most of our dates) and lived with 3 roommates cause he couldn't afford to live on his own. Plus he always spoke about his surviving his dad's suicide, which happened when he was 6 months old! Talk about exploiting a tragedy! After our 1st date, he invited to have dinner with him mom. Like an idiot, I went!


After our 1st kiss, he posted about it on Facebook literally, minutes after it happened then told me he loved me after a week. He's one of those people who shares every detail of his personal life online. I finally got to my senses and broke things off. He was super melodramatic about it. I sought therapy to work on my issues. Months later, I reconnected with my ex and explained everything to him. He was so happy we were talking again and asked if we could start over, but take things slow so I can focus on loving myself before investing time in a relationship. I agreed but the other guy started talking to me again. He wanted us to be just friends but after one dinner, he went back to calling me his soul mate. I broke it off again and told him he's not the one for me. He went as far as messaging my boyfriend on Facebook to tell him there's no bad blood between them ( he doesn't even know him) and to take care of me. WTF??? Fastforward 6 months and I'm spending more time with my ex, going to therapy and getting more confident everyday and really embarrassed I dated the other guy. I accidentally ran into him last week and I was polite. Of course, he posted about it on Facebook ( something about seeing me on the way to his shrink and how karma worked). Because we have friends in common, I said nothing but also because I find him very petty and annoying but I can't stop feeling embarrassed that I actually dated him.

[535]

First of all--work on you, when you are sure that you know what you want, go for it. Don't overlook and orchid, while searching for a rose.

[Sonia]

The guy u described as perfect truely is perfect so just focus on the happiness being with him brings u. Remove the other guy from ur fb because he's obviously causeing u stress. We all have those few people we wish we hadn't dated but we also regret thhose relationships we didn't try hard enough in. U don't need to forgive urself u just have tl learn from that mistake