My boyfriend wants me to change myself and calls me selfish for not wanting to...?

[557]

So ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and its been a bit of a bumpy ride. Within the first weeks of dating he seemed so cute and loving like nothing could make him angry then it happened.
we went to a party i got drunk and i ended up playing spin the bottle with him and 3 other people one of them was gay, the other a ridiculously vile rude human being and a lesbian and i apparently pecked each of them on the lips. The next morning he seemed fine and then..
Since then he and i have gone downhill.. he doesnt trust me anymore. Hes really insecure/jealous/paranoid and overly worried hes not worthy of me.
He went through my facebook messages and my phone messages without me knowing he stalks any guy who likes my photo or talks to me..
He told me he doesnt trust anyone around me. No one.
He doesnt want me to wear make-up and i dont mind that but when i want to he gets mad and calls me cake face and says other sarcastic comments that hurt my feelings.
Embarassingly enough we had to see a relationship councillor.. every single person i know and have been friends with or are tell me to cut him as they have seen me apparently change into someone different.He gets mad when i want to go to parties and we have massive text wars all the time. we literally dont go a week without fighting.
He calls me selfish, childish, idioitc and never able to commit to promises his sarcastic hurts me sometimes maybe i am selfish idk. someone please help. Am i the reason we fight?
I love him so much and would do anything for him
Im just so sick of fighting but i dont want to change my personality and who i am..
he says who i am hurts him and pushs him away.

We broke up because i didnt want to change but got back together because he said he was gonna change and i tried too but he still thinks im a selfish pathetic self-hating girl because i always blame myself for our fights as it is my fault


He said im not the girl he feel inlove with and i cant get that out
I've trying to change myself. i really have but i just wanna have fun and go out some nights and talk to people.. specially my friends.. i miss them. I've been there for him everyday because he's got glandular fever bringing him food and surprising him with gifts. He thinks i stare at guys and secretly talk to guys..
should i try talking to him? I just i dont wanna lose him but he makes me feel so guilty always when i want to go out and have fun with my friends.. Hes says i chose them over him.

[duje]

You didnt do anything wrong.
The problem is in him and only him.
If he cant accept you they way you are then fuck him.His problem and not yours.

[Donna S]

You are not the reason you fight. You are in an abusive relationship, whether he has hit you or not. For the sake of your well-being, both emotionally and physically, get out now!

[Doug]

im not going to read all that. kim lets kanye change her.

[ortizj1413]

Lol it's funny how unsure you are if you're the problem. If kissing a rude and and vile individual is not wrong in your mind why not go a bit further and just have sex? it means nothing right!? My favorite part of your story is "I apparently pecked" XD You sound like the perfect girlfriend! lmao he should switch to your mind set and sleep with rude and vile woman also, it wouldn't bother you obvioulsy! just a bit of drunk fun right? plus he wouldn't remember! NO OF COURSE YOU AREN'T THE REASON YOU FIGHT! LOL

[kate]

You made a drunken mistake, which he seemed to be ok with at the time after all if he didn't want you to kiss other people by playing spin the bottle why did he join in on the game too? Sounds like he preaches one thing and does another. He sounds very insecure and controlling and he really shouldn't be given you a hard time for wearing make-up or going out with your friends. The fact that he checks your facebook also suggests he doesn't trust you, even though he tells you it's others he doesn't trust around you.
You have been with this guy 6 months, get out now before it's too late. Don't wait 5 years down the line where he has completely changed you and damaged your self-esteem and confidence. If he really cared for you he wouldn't want to change you, after all aren't you the same girl he fell for 6 months ago, why should you have to change? If anybody needs to change it needs to be him, he needs to address his selfish and controlling ways and realise he cannot treat his girlfriend this way. My advice would be to tell him to either let you life your live without him controlling you and to treat you better, or you will find another guy who will treat you the way you should be treated and who will love you for you. If he cared about you he'd shape up, if not follow through on your threat and actually leave him. Don't be stuck with somebody who is going to bring you down. For the record, your not selfish at all it is him being selfish he needs to get over his own insecurities.

[john]

Honestly, no. He wants you to conform to his needs and he's neglecting to think about yours. If you wanna party, then party. If you wanna wear makeup, wear makeup. If you did kiss those people at the party, then you DID make a mistake. I can somewhat see where hes coming from, but from what ive read hes taking it a little too far. You gotta earn his trust back, but it doesnt sound like hes gonna make it easy. If you want to keep the relationship, then try to work it out. But dont let him put you down and walk all over you.

Best advice i can give you when talking about it to him. Dont argue, just talk.

Do what you feel is best.