Was I being too harsh on my crush? Or was he the one who's in the wrong?

[54Y45T4Gtr]

I'm the new girl to my school. Here in my country, school starts in 2nd January every year after a 3 month holiday from September to December. So I started going to this school on 2nd January. My crush began talking to me after a month (4th February) and we exchanged numbers. We do talk in real life but mostly on social media. I could tell that he likes me too, but I am not sure. Plus I've caught him staring at me many times.

Yesterday I posted a status on facebook ''Just submitted the form to transfer back to my old school...hopefully it'll be accepted." and my crush texted me for the first time in 5 days. This was the convo

Him: Heyyy. Why are you transferring back?
Me: Whoa. So you saw my post and didn't ''like'' it ._.
Him: Why do you want to transfer back?
Me: I have to brb. My tutor is here xD
Him: okiee

4 hours later he didn't text me again to ask. I fell asleep waiting. The next day in math class (the only class i have with him), I kept on staring at the guy behind him with a dazed expression cos I was daydreaming. My crush saw my face and said to his friend beside me "haha look at her face!'' and then mimicked my expression. I took it as a joke and just said ''what?'' with a smile on my face. Out of a sudden, the guy who used to bully me (until last week when i gave him a slap) shouted at me "shut up!'' and then my crush started laughing with him. But it was only for a while. My crush told me before that he also doesnt like this guy (the one who used to bully me) so I was shocked when he laughed. I got upset and ignored both of them. 10 minutes later I started tearing up and began crying. I stopped when a girl saw me. But once every 3 minutes tears would roll down my face and I'm pretty sure that my crush knew I was crying cos that girl made a commotion like trying to get me to go to the washroom with her and pulling my arm while I kept on resisting and said "nooo i wont cry anymore." My crush didn't come over to comfort me at all.

After math class ended, I waited outside the classroom to my next class. My crush made a kissy sound while walking towards me and asked "Why are you transferring back?" and I quickly turned my back at him. He repeated his question again. I responded with a "go awayy'' in an annoyed tone and walked away from him. He followed me for a few steps and repeated his question again and I made an annoyed sound with my back still turned at him. Then he stopped asking and went to stand at the entrance of the classroom and started playing with his phone. When it was time for me to go in, I said to him ''move'' and he did without any hesitation.

When it was time for break, I was queuing up to get my food and when I turned to look behind, I caught my crush staring at me again. He quickly turned away. Then after my friends and I were done eating, we separated cos each of us had to do something else. My crush and his friends walked past me and my crush didn't even say hi, even though I was alone. Do you think I was being too harsh on him? or do you think he deserves it?
ok so its evening now and he finally texted me.

him: are you okay?
me: why
him: you dont seem okay..i talked to u today and u ignored me.
how shud i reply him

[SilverFang]

Seems like both of you are immature, and lacking communication. Him a bit more so that you, because he sounds very immature.

Now, from what I read, I can only make a guess. You'll have to fill in the blanks.

It may have been 1 big misunderstanding on his part. I'll address that below. Doesn't justify his behavior however.

Now on him, has he acted like that before, or was it new? If so, I think he may have gotten an attitude that you were transferring back, and wouldn't answer his question, so he thought you were blowing him off, or playing games or something. He asked the first time, you didn't answer. He asked again, and you told him you had to leave, but would be back, then you didn't text back at all. Now understandable you were busy and tried. So that's not bad. But some people get the wrong idea in text. If you had to go to bed, probably would have been safer to text him saying "I am tired after tutoring, I will talk to you about it tomorrow."

That's a hassle. But some people are so sensitive that if someone stops texting, they think they're being blown off, as I have answered a few questions here on the subject and that people just get busy or distracted, and the whole point of texts is that you can answer at you leisure-unlike on a phone where it's glued to you ear.

Now on your part, you should have been honest. When he came to you asking his question after the drama in class, you should have turned it back and asked him, "why do you care after how you acted in class?" or addressed that issue, telling him you were hurt by his behavior toward you for no reason, and why he laughs when a bully yelled at you.

When a guy upsets you- if he's a friend or boyfriend, tell him. Don't hold it in, or ignore him. Because guys can be stupid. If you ignore them, and don't tell them straight up what the problem is, they may not even know what the hell they did. Men aren't good with signals. You have to be more obvious. Women like to be subtle, but sometimes with men, that's hard to do.

So, you should have texted him that night saying you'd talk tomorrow. To be safe, and considerate. When I leave, I don't text to tell people. But that is seen as rude for some.

And when he acted like an idiot, you should have called him out on that too, and asked him why he acted that way, and why he's trying to be casual afterward.

The rest is all just theory on his behavior. But without knowing him, I can't really say. So, just a possibility. Talking with him seriously will really help.

When you didn't answer his question or text back, he probably thought "oh she's playing games" so, then in class, he acted immature. You were looking at his friend, but if it was in his direction, he thought you were starring and spacing at him. Further thinking the game thing because you avoid his questions and don't text, the stare at him in class (in his mind).

Now with the laughing. Did he try to be subtle about it, and you noticed, or did he not even hide the fact he laughed? Why he laughed, again I believe goes to him being immature, and since he thought you were acting weird, or playing games, he enjoyed you being told off in that moment, and may have made him feel better and happy if he thought you were acting funny toward him. So, kinda wanted to get the last laugh in order to feel better. Once he felt he had, he could let things go and you 2 could pick up where you left off.

It's like a brother who wanted revenge on his sister. She was humiliated, and he helped her fix up her room, and smiled saying "after you were humiliated on national tv, I kinda thought we were even."

You cried, maybe he felt bad, but didn't know how to comfort you. He may have wanted to tease you a bit, but didn't intend to make you cry. Some men are just not good when girls cry. So, how did he act when you cried. Did he still laugh, or just ignore you? If he did see you, and do nothing, he may have just waited on you to calm down on your own, and tried to be nice and pick up on your previous convo from the last night-thinking you suffered enough. Sadly, he'd already been an ***, so it was a tad soon for him to be approaching you trying to act like none of that happened.

Now, this theory on his behavior is out there. But you would be surprised at how many people are like this.

I was that way with my mother. I thought my dog was sick, and going to die. So I asked for a bit of comfort and attention. She casually says death is a part of life, and that I should deal with it. I was very mad at how insensitive she was. And I stayed mad. My dog ended up being fine, but another dog of mine ate her prized fish in her pond, and she was horrified. So, I brought that back up, and told her death is part of life, and smiled. Then laughed about it with my friend. I felt much better. And she knew I was mad at her, and why. But nice to get the last laugh.