I'm in so much trouble?!?! *PLEASE read*?

[866]

I already know I did an awful thing, there's no need to remind me. It would mean so much to me if you read this and answered it...


So last December, me and 4 of my friends were kinda mean to this girl, Clair. We would tell one another about how stupid she was and how she only got good grades because her mom negotiated with her teachers (which may or may not be true, we aren't sure). But we NEVER said anything to Clair's face, or to anyone but each other. We would privately message one another about Clair on twitter (DM). Somehow Clair found out, but we felt so guilty that we sicncerly apologized and she forgave us. But apparently, one of the 4 girls who i had been messaging back and forth with on twitter showed Clair's father a mean message that I sent about Clair. Then, he COMPLETLEY blew up. He showed my cheer coach, (who is also Clair and my other friends coach) the message and I was kicked off the cheer squad. He showed my school principal, and Im currently suspended from school. All of my friends pretended not to have taken any part of this, and are now teaming up with Clair to form an anti bullying campaign. None of them got in any trouble!! My picture was in the school newspaper with the headline, "Bully is finally put to a stop". I can't even leave my house without people giving me dirty looks, and I had to delete all of my social networking accounts because I couldn't bear to look at any more pictures of kids wearing "Justice for Clair" tee shirts. At the end of the month, the school has arranged a meeting between me, my parents, Clair and her parents, my friends and their parents and my cheer coach. At the meeting, I'm going to be "punished for my decision" and it will be determined whether or not I will be allowed to continue at my current school. So basically, I'm going to this meeting to verbally have the sh*t beat out of me by people who used to care about me. What can I do about my situation? Moving is not an option. Any advice is appreciated.

[Manuel]

You tell the fucking truth. And if anyone tries to talk over you (TEACHER, PRINICPAL, COACH ETC.) You tell them "I didn't interrupt when you spoke please shut up." Tell them who was involved. And it would make greater sense and I could help you more if you sent me pictures of your message to her? Oh and explain you already apologized to her, find a gang member of some sort, or someone willing to get there hands dirty and have them jump the girl that tattle tailed with the picture. I'm 100% serious this is what I would do. Especially the jumping part.

[The Writer]

Own up to your behavior and learn to be a better person. You deserve to be punished for what you did to this girl. Spreading false rumors, talking s**t about her for no reason, and just all out being mean. Why? What did she do to you and your friends?

Time for you to face the music, so to speak, and accept your punishment.

[Oreo]

Wow thats horrible. Ya friends stab friends in the back all the time. I guess that really showed who your true friends were. You could show them the other messages the other girls said if your that kind of person or you could just fess up when the meeting come and tell them how wrong you were and how you now know how bullying could affect other people. Truely apologize and mean it to your peers mom princable coach and of course clair. If you fess up you wont have ant worries or uneasyness about getting expelled or shuned for what you did. Good luck. I hope it all works out in the end.

[lolgirl0823]

Honestly, the process is going to suck, but you will have to face the consequences of your actions and let people give you their lectures and hypocritical dirty looks. You did take part in the bullying, so you do have to face the punishment for it.
Also, don't be quiet about the fact that other people took part in making fun of Claire. It's not fair for er to be friends with people who talked about her behind her back. If you have to be crucified, then you should also make them face the judgement of other people.
Lastly, talk to Claire about everything. Honestly apologize for the things you said and maybe she will forgive you. It isn't a guarantee before, and lastly, forgive your friends who threw you under the bus, but never forget. Always stay cautious, but at least be civil about things, because school is for school and friends are great to help you, but they can also bring you down.
Hope this helps a little bit.

[492]

If anyone should have considered moving it's Clair. Besides, if you do move you'd just be seen as the kid who was a bully, then ran when things came back to bite her on the ass.

What do you do? You face the music. Go to those meetings, say that you are sorry for what you said and it got out of control. Ignore any comments from other people, apologise to Clair and just get on with your life.

Hiding in your bedroom will not do anything - the problem will still be there. The only way to do it is face up to things, show how sorry you are and move on. Besides, this is a high school - those kids are bound to find something else to talk about sooner or later.

[Mandie]

Whoa, there, Nelly. You've gotten yourself stuck in quite a sticky situation, haven't you? Now, I unfortunately cannot do anything to change this - if I could, I would! - but what I can do is encourage you to tell the truth. I know, this is hard to do, but it will help. You won't have to suffer the weight of the entire punishment on your own, which is totally unfair since you weren't in this alone. If possible, talk to your parents before the meeting and explain what really happened. Or explain the situatuon at the meeting. It will all work out, hon. And no nonsense about moving - never back down! Stand up for yourself, girl! Good luck, and know that I'm over here cheering you on!

[judasfm]

Are the messages that your friends sent still on Twitter? Do you have any evidence at all (emails, tweets, anything with times and dates) that your friends were also involved? If so, gather it together and first of all show your parents. Keep several copies for yourself and take them to the meeting so that when the time comes, you can hand them to everyone there (if you give them one to pass around, they'll lose interest very quickly).

You already know you did a very stupid and spiteful thing, so I won't lecture you about that here. But the other girls ought to be punished just as much as you. Making mistakes is part of life, but running from those mistakes and leaving other people to take the blame is about as cowardly and despicable as it gets.

At the meeting itself, keep very calm and be as polite as you can. If you go in ranting and raving or getting angry with your former friends, no one's going to listen to you. If you speak calmly and hold your hand up to what you did, people will be far more likely to believe you. At the very least, they'll respect you for having the moral courage to confess.

Don't try and make excuses, such as, "Well, yeah, I did it, but it was all so-and-so's idea really!" No one at that meeting cares who started it and you'll just come across as a whiny kid trying to shirk responsibility. Instead, try something like, "It was a group of us who were saying these things, and I've brought copies of their tweets/emails/whatever here for you all to see. I know what I did was wrong, I'm sorry I hurt Clair so badly and I'm really not trying to shift the blame, but with all due respect, I don't understand why I'm the only one out of that group who's being punished."

Good luck. I really hope it works out for you :-)

[Stuart]

You are getting a taste of what you reaped and what you should do, is #1 learn your lesson! Don't ever repeat this. #2 Take a proactive attack! Now you must apologize! Everywhere and as publically as possible, especially on line! Make every effort to make this right and forget about punishing any of the others who also were Involved! They may deserve outing but that doesn't help you or your cause. Let someone else out them. You have to show that you aren't some evil monster and you made a mistake, realize that mistake, are sorry and truly are trying to make restitution! #3 Checkout the online reputation management advice here:
http://gurumarketingtips.com/reputation-management.html
Now, start countering all this negative publicity that is being shared about you! Adapt the reputation management tips to your situation even though the article is written for businesses to repair their online reputation it works for individuals in your situation too. Start your own group about bullying, as a former now reformed bully! Google bully blogs and bully forums and post your comments of true remorse but also leave advice for others can benefit. You can turn this around. Hold your head high and move forward! Just because you've been accused of cyber bullying doesn't give anyone the right to cyber bully you in return! Most importantly, learn how to use the net, web, cyber space to spread positive info you'll get much more satisfaction that way.

[David]

Boy, karma is a bi1ch isn't it.