Why is it so hard for me to love?!!?

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I am Not the type of person to be asking such questions on Y!A but this question keeps suffocating me. I had to pop out this one somewhere!
So there is this guy in my school who evidently has a crush on me and my friends tell that too. He's cute but I just can't go to him. Not that I am shy or quiet(trust me, I'm not!) but I hate to be in a relationship. I can't commit to a person. Not that I cheat or I'm disloyal but I have this inbuilt thing in me which tells me that prefer staying single forever than trusting any man. I can't trust ANY GUY. My dad died when I was 12. He always used to say that he'll NEVER EVER leave us. He died of cancer that started from his ear-lobe. It was really strange even for the doctors as it is kind of really rare. It seemed as if my dad wanted to leave us. I cannott forgive him. He broke the promise and along with it he broke my trust. I know that men cannot keep commitments. Therefore, I cannot induldge myself with a guy, period.
What should I do to start trusting again?I don't want to be like this. I don't care what my friends, family or some other random guy thinks anbout this.But why I want to start trusting again is because it's eating me up from inside.I have minor depression but that's just fine for me because I like the feeling.Unperturbed. But how I feel about love and shit isn't good.And I don't want that. Of course I love my mother.She's all I have. But my love for everybody else is what I doubt.
I might delete the question later.

[497]

You could be aromantic, or asexual, or both, as a result of what happened to your father.
Aromantic: https://www.google.com/search?q=define+a...2&ie=UTF-8
Asexual: https://www.google.com/search?q=define+a...2&ie=UTF-8 (Look at the second definition)
Yes, you can be asexual, but want romantic connections, or want sexual connections, but nothing romantic.
Thrid thing: You could def just have trust issues, and not be any of the above. Some weird ear cancer is quite strange, but I'm sure if he promised he'd never leave you, then he died fighting cancer the best he could. Would he intentionally give up when he promised his little girl (who isn't so little anymore?) he wouldn't leave? Your dad is probably still with you, in soul, or spirit, if he believed in that stuff.
To trust again, just take little baby steps. It will most definitely be uncomfortable, but if it is TOO uncomfortable, you can stop or backtrack at anytime. Just make sure to go at a slow pace you're comfortable with, and tell people who will be involved in your regaining-trust thing, and have them RESPECT you and your choices in this, be patient, and tell them to do likewise.