How do I get over my crush?

[Mindy]

I have been married for 6 years. I love my husband like crazy. But in our second year of marriage, I met someone in one of my college classes whom I really clicked with. He made me happy and he made me laugh and somehow I developed deep feelings for him even though I tried not to. I never hung out with him outside of class. He never knew I liked him and I was always faithful to my husband. But It has been almost five years since the last time I have even seen him and I still can't stop thinking about him. I have tried everything to forget him but i can't. Every night I go to sleep wondering what it would be like to be with him and not my husband. I think about conversations we had or things that we did in class together (five years ago!). Thinking about him and what life could have been like with him and not my husband just makes me depressed. I just want to get over him and turn all of my attention to my husband whom I love very much. I even defriended him on facebook a few years ago so that I wouldn't look him up to see what he is doing.


How do I stop thinking about him? Does anyone have a similar experience/suggestions?

[May]

you could be attracted to what you can't have or shouldn't have, and that's what makes it so desirable and makes it be on your mind all the time. I would know, because I've experienced something similar. I can't let go of guys i've had a crush on even if we never dated and even if it's been awhile. I think that maybe since you never hung out with this guy outside of class you only saw one part of him, the best part that he only wants you to see. you could be picturing him different than he really is also. maybe if you didn't have a husband and you had gotten to know this guy more he wouldn't be as great as you imagined he was

[Annie]

You remember that you are married. You have invested love, memories, and time into that relationship. We all think about the one who got away, only because there is a "what might have been". Your romanticizing this other man instead of realizing he is just another man, with his own issues and problems. You are missing nothing. Its very unfair for you to do this to your husband, would you want your husband to have a woman he thinks about all the time?

[john]

- Find people who know what you're feeling. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the middle of a crush, but plenty of other people have been down this path before you.
- Admit you have a crush. Before you can get over a problem, you have to acknowledge that it exists. Allow yourself to say you have a crush, and to experience all the complicated emotions that go with it.
- Tell your crush. If you're certain they're mature and capable of understanding what you're going through, find a time when you can talk to them about it.
- Acknowledge defeat. Maybe the person you're crushing on is already in another relationship, or you're separated by thousands of miles of distance.
- Separate yourself from your crush. If you can, try to give yourself some breathing room away from the object of your affection.
- Meet some new people. If your crush is always hanging out in your current group of friends, try broadening your social horizons.
- Take care of yourself. Use this time to step back and re-evaluate ways you can improve your own life, instead of devoting all that mental capital to your crush.
- Be wary of relapsing. Getting over a crush is hard work, and if it took you several months to become infatuated, it might take long to dig yourself back out.
- Avoid becoming bitter. Demonizing your crush might help you get over it in a short-term way, but it's not a long-term solution.