BF is splitting up with me over FB message how can I get him back please help?

[977]

Me and my boyfriend have been together on and off for 5 and a half years since we were 16. When I was 18 we briefly split up and I started seeing someone else which cut him up. Then he did the same to me which I forgave. a year later during summer we split again and I started a sexual relationship with a guy. I was friends with him on FB but he asked me delete him which I did. But when he went away to NZ for a year this guy friended me again and I accepted as FB means nothing to me.

We never spoke on it and then 2 months ago he wrote to me one night here is the conversation:
HIM:
Hey how's things random I no but do u want to meet up for a chat..could do with talking to someone that I trust.
ME
Hey yea ok why what's up

HIM
Feel like an ass writing to ya

ME
Why what's wrong ?

HIM
Just me been me keeping things bottled up

ME
What happened?

HIM
Nothing really just been down the last couple of months do no what really to say

end of conversation. I never met him nor had intentions of I just wanted to know what he wanted and what he was going to say. I left my phone powered off with my bf when I went to the toilet one evening we were out and He got my phone turned it on and went through all my msgs and found this. Now he is accusing me of cheating on him which I am not and have even given him access to my phone records and ring him off my house constantly to reassure him and he is calling me a compulsive liar and said he wants nothing to me with me I am only cancer. I love him and I am terrified of loosing him. I know I was wrong not to tell him and to talk to this guy when he asked me not to but I really didnt see it as a big deal as the conversation was jus BS. Please help me what shoud I do to get him back? will he come around

[Feelingso Insecure]

you both need to grow up and get a life

[Norcallia03]

I second Feelingso

[Stephen]

dump the loser, and grow up, facebook? really?

[john]

gtfu

[ccorridon]

I agree, both of you need to grow up. Until then....respect is a big thing in a relationship. If you KNOW he doesn't want you to speak to an ex, why would you do it anyways and then defend it with "It doesn't mean anything to me." It may not but it meant A LOT to him that you chose to do it behind his back. And in his mind, if you did this behind his back, what else have you done behind his back? I'm NOT accusing you of doing anything behind his back, only putting to words what HE may be thinking.

In any relationship, you need to be open and honest and that includes what is important to you and what isn't and it needs to be said up front. If you don't have a problem being friends with a man on FB, you need to be up front with that. If he can't deal, he can leave. But be careful because if you keep choosing ex boyfriends over your boyfriend, you're going to wind up alone. I'm great friends with my ex husband (all future references to him will be just "ex") and any man whom I'm dating needs to understand that. However, if I'm in a serious relationship and it really bothers him, I will cut off contact. My ex understands that. Our platonic friendship IS unusual. What I'm saying is that for casual dating I'm not going to dump the friendship, it would have to be the kind of relationship where I could see myself marrying the man. But I WILL be up front about it.

I don't know that you can get him back because you're truly not seeing what you did wrong. It's not so much the communication with this guy in and of itself, it's doing it behind your boyfriend's back when you knew d*mn well he didn't want you to. That shows a blatant lack of respect and he's right not to go back to you if you don't get it.

If you do, you need to tell him that you are genuinely sorry for disrespecting and stop making excuses for your actions. But you also need to tell him that he has to trust you because if he doesn't, it won't work out anyways. Trust is a foundation in the relationship and without it, it won't work.

Also, I doubt it will work anyways. If this was a good, solid relationship, you wouldn't always be on and off. Time for you two to mature and figure out if the next time you're in, you're going to be in for GOOD.

God bless.

[Dragonfly Girl]

He asked you to meet him and you said "yea ok." That's where you f-ked up. If you had done the RIGHT thing and said something like "no, I don't want to meet up with you, I have a boyfriend and am not interested in meeting up with any other men" then your boyfriend would have been GLAD instead of hurt and feeling betrayed. I don't blame him for feeling that way at all. You were in the wrong and if I were your BF, I wouldn't be able to trust you either. It sounds like you agreed to meet up with him, and your BF has NO WAY to know whether that actually occured or not. You already betrayed his trust by re-friending this guy who he SPECIFICALLY asked you to NOT be "Friends" with on FB, which you agreed to and then went behind his back and did this. If he does come around he's a fool... you don't know how to be trustworthy and like these others have said, you are seriously immature.

[548]

Let's summarize.

Your boyfriend didn't want you to be close to a guy you f*cked. - Pretty reasonable
You removed contact with the guy you f*cked - Right thing to do
You then came into contact with the guy you f*cked again - Wrong thing to do
Your boyfriend no longer trusts you because you're still talking to the guy you f*cked - He's right to feel this way

What was the point of ending contact with the guy you f*cked, if you just decided to let him into your life again? The amount of contact is not important. The purpose behind losing contact with him was because it made your boyfriend uncomfortable.

You disregarded his feelings the second time around, because it was no big deal to *you* but what about his feelings and what you guys originally discussed?

How'd you like this if it were the other way around? How'd you like it if some chick your boyfriend f*ckd started talking to him again after you told him you didn't like it?

[jackie m]

FB is causing a lot of relationship problems because people do not trust each other. Close down your FB account and move on without the boyfriend because although you have done nothing wrong he feels you went behind his back and spoke to this guy so if boyfriend cant trust you it is time to move on without him, - how would you feel if he was talking to an ex on FB and the ex wanted to meet up with him just for a chat? Good Luck

[Janet]

Not to be mean but u guys need to grow up ! I mean common over a stupid facebook message ?!