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What is wrong with me for him to leave for someone else?
06-05-2014, 09:04 AM
Post: #1
What is wrong with me for him to leave for someone else?
My boyfriend broke up with me because he found someone else. He broke my heart. She is pretty and he always came down on me for the way that I looked. I lost so much weight after I switched my medication because I have epilepsy and I also do crew.

I lied to him one time about texting a guy who took me to homecoming freshman year, I promised I wasnt texting any guys when in fact I responded to the guy. He texted me and I responded and we broke up, but that night I begged for him back. He however, in the six hours we were broken up went to that girl (he had never met) and they planned to take it slow, and be together one day. Even though he took me back after begging him and apologizing and saying I will prove to him that I can be trusted. He has done TERRIBLE things to me. I have only lied one time to him in the course of our two year relationship because I believe in full honesty. I have however made mistakes when telling the truth because some guys have "come on" to me and I have "accepted" the attention because my boyfriend had treated me badly and I told him the way I was feeling that I wanted to accept their attention, in other words, and it made him hurt. I never meant to hurt him. He downloads dating apps, talks intimately with other girls (just once i guess he said), lies about blocking girls, lies about talking to people, insults my features, everything. He broke up with me on my birthday two years in a row. He broke up with me everyday last year because his friends told him to, and I risk everything for him because my parents dont know and if they did, I would have nothing because they hate him and I got my iphone taken last year now I have a non-smartphone (not in trouble anymore and they trust me but they dont know about him), I text him on my laptop, I work so hard for us and I love him with everything I have I cant imagine a wold without him. But he left me for her, they arent dating but the night that we got back together, the morning after he said he needed time to trust me again, just to give him a week and that if he falls in love with her, oh well he deserves better.

I am just trying to give the full story the best I can so that it is not so one sided, he never tells the full story. His lies more than I have ever lied to him, yet he makes me a horrible person. I am a very kind person and I work very hard. I am very very loving and caring and I can't imagine life without him but, I just hate the way I am feeling. I have cried so much. Please help with this, and please tell me what is wrong with the way that I look for him to critique me so much? What is wrong with me? (p.s. weve been together 2 years).

Here is my instagram. http://instagram.com/tatertotts1

Thank you.

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06-05-2014, 09:17 AM
Post: #2
 
Oh honey... you are so so wrong about what's wrong with you. There is NOTHING wrong with the way you look, there is nothing wrong with the kind of girlfriend you are, there is nothing wrong with your intelligence, or your big heart.

Really, there's only one thing wrong with you, and that is: your willingness to put up with guys who treat you badly. Your ex boyfriend is emotionally abusive, and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. He is the one who has some terrible things wrong....he doesn't know how to love, he doesn't know how to control his impulsiveness, and he doesn't know how to treat women with respect.

You're not going to believe me... because girls like you always have to learn the heard way.... you have to be in crappy relationships with guys who treat you badly and break your heart (or your face) over and over for a decade or two before you finally get help and figure out that you're worth so much more than that. You also won't believe me when I tell you that you are so much better off without him. And that you are strong enough to be on your own until you meet a guy who respects you and treats you right.

But you could save yourself YEARS of heartache if you face the heartache and the grief... as hard as it is, do NOT ever talk to this guy again. And within a few weeks or months when you start to feel better, do some soul searching....maybe talk to a counselor...figure out some strategies for assessing what men are worth your time and attention and what men arent. Raise your standards, and vow to never put up with this kind of treatment again.

Good luck to you. I hope that you find the strenghth to be alone for awhile, and that when you decided to be in another relationship, you make the courageous choice to be with somebody good and decent, and never settle for less.

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