Where do I stand with my ex?

[Smartass Italian]

Her and I broke up last June, things just got bad for a while. I was jealous, she was insecure, we were starting to fight and argue more than we were enjoying our time together and things got really bad and we had a fallout. We tried the "just being friends" route for a while and I felt I was being lead on, as she was continually flirting with me but pulled that classic "I just want to be single for a while" crap with me. I had enough and said the wrong things in a drunken stupor to the wrong mutual friends and one went back and told her to get her to hate me, so he could have a shot with her. Well she used him as a rebound and dumped him not long after, and from what I saw, she was never happy with this guy, in fact she appeared to be depressed and bored out of her mind. The guy that stabbed me in the back to get with her gained nothing but making an enemy of me. But me and her had a worse fallout because of this and I felt more betrayed. We had a very bad argument and we didn't speak for 4 months.

After those months, she emailed me and apologized for everything, admitted she was wrong and felt bad about things that were said and done. I asked her about the guy she out with after and she said he begged her daily to be with him and she felt bad and gave in and never cared for him (which I clearly saw was true) and regrets ever giving him a chance. I was hesitant but we started talking slowly. Weeks passed, we talked more and more and started growing closer and she started opening up to me, flirting with me again, telling me personal things, sharing secrets, wanting to spend more and more time talking to me and everything. I was confused, emotionally so I took a shot at it and asked where we stood and she said she wanted to be single because of college and what was going on in her life and did not want a relationship right now. Right. This was well over a month ago she said this. Since that time, she has flirted with me more and more, not dated anyone since she dumped that last guy in september or so, appears to have no interest in anyone else and she is really close to me in many aspects.

Now lately girls have been flirting with me on my facebook wall, and she comes to me and asks "Who the **** is this girl??" and gets really jealous of these girls. She will kind of stalk their profile and do homework on them, looking at their pictures and what they have said to me and then started insulting them. Any girl that comments or likes too many posts or pictures, she questions and I am not sure what she did, but a few girls that have gotten closer to me, she managed to scare away and they won't even speak to me. Lately she wants to talk in nearly all of her free time, spend time with me, laughing, flirting, video chatting on Skype, yeah LIKE A RELATIONSHIP. I am really confused here. This feels like we are dating again, we are doing everything a couple does and I won't bother bringing up relationship matters again and won't ask her out again for fear of rejection. And the weirdest part, a friend of mine that does not like her commented on my wall and referred to her as my "retarded girlfriend" and she did not deny it. I raised an eyebrow and brought it up to her to make sure she was aware of it, and said "a few friends refer to you as my retarded girlfriend" and she said "why am I retarded??" not even denying the "girlfriend" part. What is the deal with that? I wonder exactly what is she thinking and feeling towards her and I and where does it appear I stand with her? My good friend said to ask her out again but I am afraid she will reject me again and I will be hurt and things may get awkward again. What should I do and what exactly appears to be happening here?
Oh yes, Ivy League Swimmer, I forgot to mention her uncle did just die and she took it hard. I am sure that had something to do with her feelings as well and why she is not willing to get into a relationship. That and starting a new college, maybe it all got to be too much for her at the time.

[InLoveWithLove]

my advice leave her she clearly doesn't know what she wants and its making you waste your time.

[john]

You have to ponder over one question. Do you need this girl back again
simply because you genuinely love her, or is it because you don't have
someone else?

Let's say you already had abundance of other potential women to choose
from, are you going to still want her back?

Ask yourself those questions, and incase you continue to want her back,
here's a good web site that might help:

http://textdino.com/how-to-text-your-ex-...iend-back/

Give it a try, best of luck

[Ivy league swimmer]

Dont assume anything, theres only one way to find out! Ask her, maybe not flat out ask her, but ask how she feels about you and tell her somewhat, how you feel about her (unless you wanna take a leap of faith and spill your heart). Again, only one way to really find out! As far as you know, she might have had a long lost friend pass away and she might not be in the best state of mind, or etc. Good luck though, I feel for you.

--- UPDATE: Hey then yeah, a death can take a heavy toll on everyone, let her cool down, but be there for her. Show her genuine interest (not just because you want to be with her) but show her compassion for her situation, and maybe right now just focus on being her shoulder to cry on for now. Things always work out for the better eventually. And worse comes to worse, you helped someone you care for go through a hard time in her life. Thats something she will remember for the rest of her life.

[J]

Ask her what she wants. People grow and mature and change, but they may still have feelings for one another. It seems like she thinks you two are an item again.

I know a guy that got married at 21, divorced at 25 and remarried to the same woman at 28. Relationships aren't easy things.

[Louise]

Hello! hmmmmm let me see.
Based on your statement,you're still willing to give it a second try but you're afraid of rejection?..i'd say there's no harm in trying.no guts no glory. look,she's giving all signs that she's still into you.you guys are acting like "in a relationship". She's jealous of you talking to other women in the net. Ask her what's the real score between you two.At least to me,it's so obvious,this abnormal girlfriend of yours still likes/loves you...but...given you ask her and she refused to be reunited with you then i guess you're wasting your time.Maybe she's just leading you on. Technically,you're not together and she has no right to pester or investigate or stalk women you are interested in.

Now,you have to ask yourself. Do you REALLY want to give it a second chance? Can you stand her being insecure and can you handle/control your being jealous (which is why you broke up). Are you both in to work harder for the relationship?..if the answers are YES,then ask her...come on.!! on the other hand if there are still doubts,then heck NO...move on.You deserve to be happy and maybe that happiness you'll find in someone else.

Relationship won't succeed without TRUST,LOYALTY,HONESTY,COMMUNICATION, COMMITMENT and COMPROMISE.

all the best!!