My mother can't get over I have had sex?

[Peggy]

I am 25 years old. Between graduate school and finding a job I was at home and my mother read through my Facebook conversations (private) with my friends while I was away. She found out I have had sex with people who are not my boyfriend. She knows I like to party (not to an extent, but I do spend Friday nights at the bars with my friends). She can not get over this and has told me I need to see a therapist repeatedly. She has called me a whore. I am happy with who I am. When I refuse her advice (this has gone on since she found out I lost my virginity to a long term boyfriend when I was 18) her go phrase I've heard many times is "go get drunk and f***)" I am a grown woman and this has torn apart our relationship. I have told her I am happy with who I am and she insists on trying to make me believe if I don't have her morals I am not a good person. It has gone on so long and I don't know what to do anymore.

[Nathan]

Well.
She feels stabbed in the back, if I was a father I would feel the same way.
You fornicated, and mistreated love, honestly, if you were smarter you should of thought the dominio effect.

You're ways aren't the right ways, if you're fine veing a sex slave and a drunken person, then your parents shouldn't be paying for your college. I would of taken you out and kicked you on the streets till you realized you were wrong, untrustworthy, and took advantage of other people's money.

Grown up.

I'm sorry if you are too ignorant or stubborn to look on the flip side and see how people would react; you messed up your own relationship.

Did you hear me?
YOU DID, not your Mother, your Father, this is on you. It's time to grow up, and stop acting so immature, if you are a grown woman, you should know better.

[Blah]

Your mom is the one who needs to see a therapist. You're 25 years old, you're an adult. Your sex life and your personal decisions are your business. Not to mention your private messages. She needs to get a grip and leave you alone. You wouldn't be out of line if you chose to tell her off pretty badly.

@Nathan, apparently you do not know your deal.

Snooping in someone else's messages and shaming them for their PRIVATE life choices that have nothing to do with you is disrespectful, backstabbing behavior. It is none of the mother's business whether the daughter shares the same morals or beliefs. 25 year olds live different lives than they did 20-30 years ago.

[Carol]

Change your FB password and make sure she can't read it. Or create a new one.

Your sex life is none of her business.

My parents assumed I slept with every guy I dated when I was a teenager. They told everyone that I was a slut and their friends treated me accordingly. I didn't sleep with any of the guys and dropped them because I didn't want to mislead them. I was judged harshly even though I acted ethically.

I'm much older now and still haven't forgiven them for throwing shade at me when I was younger. Adolescence is hard enough without my parents ruining my reputation unjustly. Good luck .

[Megz]

You're old enough to have sex, considering you lost it as 18 and that's legal. Either ignore her or tell her she has no right in telling you to get a therapist.
And those were YOUR private messages, she had no right in reading them.

Answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...742AAti2Vl

[Miiakoda]

Although I don't really condone promiscuous behaviour you're in fact a grown woman and what you do with your life is not your mothers business. It would be different if you were 15 but you are 25, grown up and no longer in her care so I agree she needs to just accept what you have done. She should not be looking through your Facebook conversations as that is a complete invasion of your privacy. I also don't quite understand why she has a problem with you losing your virginity to a long term boyfriend when you were very much above the age of consent. (The age of consent is 16 where I live).

[Independent]

Ahhh yeah don't listen to that Nathan guy. Clearly he has had some problems with women in the past, and he's taking it out on you. Yes you are right you are a grown woman who can make her own choices. Plus she should not be going through your private things. I always say to not get into peoples privacy because you may not like what you find. She needs to grow up and realize you are capable of making your own choices, and with that being said you are also able to deal with any consequences that may come your way.
If she is saying to you in sarcastic manner to "go get drunk and sex", it sounds to me that she might be a little jealous because she feels she can't let loose like that. So, this might drive a wedge deeper between you two, but if you just shrug it off it will build up and end up exploding some time in the future.
I guess the best way would be to remain calm and mature when discussing it with your mother. If she raises her voice don't match it. You will come out ahead if you can remain calm and respectful. It's always easier to give in to aggression and frustration, but the results are better if you don't.

I'm in your corner darliin

Good Luck to ya