WHY IS MY DAD CHEATING ON MY MOM??!?

[mirabelle]

im a 13 year old girl living with my 2 married parents

when my dad was in the shower i looked on his phone and there were loads of messages(on his facebook)he sent to women like"love u babes xxx" and "i want the best for you xx" and "i will always find a place for you in my heart xxx".i was so shock i couldnt read more.i know it was wrong of me to look at his messages but....

when i was little my dad cheated on my mum and they separeted.i was really horrible because my mum went into a deopression(shes bipolar)and she had to go to hospital.

after a year they got back together and now,im 13,and i find out he doing it again!

i really dont wanna tell my mum and i dont have any family in this country!

WHAT SHOULD I DO??!please help

P.s.i took pics of the messagrs(they're in my secret folder on my phone)so i have proof.

no answers like "stop snooping around your dad's phone!" or "this is an adult thing"

also its not family or good friend because i looked at her profile and its a woman in her twenties that live in the same town as us!(weve only been living her 3 years!)

i know i shouldnt have looked at the messages but i did...

also im not confident enough to tell my mum because i love her so much i dont want her to feel hurt!!!

btw mat i point out he is a 50 year old methodist(christian priest)!!!

[Milly]

if you don't want to upset your mum, you need to confront your dad about it.

[Jade]

just wait for a moment when its just you and your dad, you know when people refer to sarcastic answers. DO THAT!!!!!
just pick a fight with him, and in the middle of the fight say 'why are you cheating on mom' but i know this will sound weird but i think if you are in a shouting kinda fight that will have the best impact. It should end the shouting where he reacts, he will either lie or tell the truth, if he lies show him the proof and threaten to tell your mum... see where it goes from there but makes sure your mum is stable before telling her
oh, and before telling her take away and suicidal/depressive things like pills or knives just in case

[Marie]

You should not get involeved...i know its hard but let yourparents sort it out. Your mom probably knows. Try to focus on your life and you only have few more years before adulthood. Pls dont tell your mom, cause you dont know whole story.

[Aaron Clark]

Cause he's a player/playboy? Maybe?

[zoom]

I'm glad he's a priest, because he will know how to behave when you talk to him about it.

Go on -- tell him you know, and ask him why, and then tell him he has to stop the girls and fix his marriage up. Do you want him to tell your mom? If so, tell him he has to, or you will.

The problem is they may only be married BECAUSE he has this outlet. If it's closed off, your parents may divorce, your mother will fall apart, and you will grow up in a divorced home, so I don't know if that's best for you.

By the way, those affectionate texts do NOT PROVE he is cheating!!!! He's just being affectionate with them and crossing some boundaries, but unless there is sex talk, about stuff they have done in the past, you really have no proof.

[ChanHamm]

To make this situation right you are going to have to tell your mom at some point. This is a broken marriage that is just going to hurt you and your mother more the longer it goes on. Don't feel bad about looking at his messages. He shouldn't have anything on there like this anyways. I think you need to speak to your dad first and show him that you have proof be careful and make sure others are around (he may be so mad he would hit you). Then you need to tell your mom and let them handle it. I know you don't want to hurt your mom but this broken marriage is going to hurt her even more that telling her. She is bound to find out eventually. I'm so sorry that you have to got through this but you have to do something about it. Hope this helps

[Sara]

you sound serious, do you have an aunt or uncle on your moms side that you could trust r contact. i woulkd try that and if need be ,as much as it hurts and you will be there for your mom it is important to always tell the truth, once a cheat always a cheat,, does dad have a good job, things to do for mom is tell her before it goes on much longer and show her the proof, but keep ,in mind she will be hurt,all of us that have been cheated on oh it hurts but sometimes we are waiting for our kids to tell us and show us that we deseve a better life, maybe that is what she is waiting on...did you tell u dad u know his secert....see how he acts...just lett him now that the cats out of the bag do not carry this to long.

[jimmaresa]

You are a brave and intelligent young woman. You don't have to tell him where you got the information but you can say to him, "Dad, remember a few years ago when you and Mum had that bad disagreement that caused the separation? You have no idea what that did to me. I was scared to death that this was the end of our family. I just want you to know that I am hearing rumors that this might be going on again and I am getting scared again. I hope you understand. I love you and Mum so very much. I don't know what I would do if this started all over again."

Yes, this suggest is a little long but it leaves you in the clear. You are going on rumors and therefore don't know the origin of such things. You may be just the one to save this marriage. Of course, don't say this in your Mum's presence but he does need to know that his secret is out. You might even suggest he look toward counseling with a fellow minister who is an expert in these matters.
You have a right to an intact family. He gave up his independence when he both got married and had a kind and compassionate daughter as you.
I do hope and pray for the very best for the whole family.

[Blah blah Blah]

Sometimes relationships break up but people stay together but always results in one of them cheating and leading a double life ,thing is i think you need to speak to your dad and tell him you know what is going on ,to be fair if the girl is in her 20s shes probably using your dad for a sugar daddy i mean he has'nt left your mum for a reason ..cos he wants the best of both worlds ,the young girl probably gives him what he wants i.e sex and then he has a stable home and cooked food and taken cared of and i know you probably don't want to know this mens sex drive last a lot longer then womens of that age ,men can keep going and going as randy old buggers but women don't need it so much hence where your dads younger women comes into play....it don't make no difference if he is a priest he knows what he is doing and should have the decentancy to tell his wife....up to you tell your dad tell your mum or contact the girl and tell her to f-off but end of day if its not her it be someone else