How can I become a stripper so my future husband Colin Kaepernick will follow me on Twitter?

[825]

He only follows strippers and hozz. I'm so sad! Why won't he follow a professional, respectable young woman like myself? Been saving myself for marriage and everything. OMG, this can't be!!! Now I wanna be a stripper so my hubby will follow me. I need him to follow me ASAP so I can DM him saying we're meant to marry and need to meet soon.

[Usagi393]

1.) walk into a club
2.) ask for a job/application
3.) ?????
4.) Profit!

[dead fundie]

I have a pole you can practice on.

[Delecacy]

If you are such a respectable young lady, you would have no intentions at all to become a stripper or try to alter yourself for someone else. Maybe he should be following you.

[JuPe]

Don't sweat men don't respect those sorts of girls, he won't marry them

[Mary]

You're kidding, right?

[the wiz]

Strippers on twitter are like strippers on... well, everywhere else. No matter what the site is about, the internet will find a way to include porn.

[757]

Photoshop.

[Wispy]

Oh Mahana- stay an eight-cow wife and the right man will"follow you" have faith. There is life after Tim.