Depressed, please help how to escape strict, controlling family?

[Anna L.]

Please, any advice or help you can give me will be very appreciated. I am very lost. I am sorry this will be a long post, but I try to make you understand my situation.

I come from a very stereotypical, strict Asian family. Obedience and family has always been very stressed. My two older sisters and my stepdad are very controlling. My mom has mellowed with age but now it is my sister who is sometimes emotionally abusive, calls me stupid, retarded, and has pushed me to suicidal tendencies sometimes. But sometimes, they show that they do care and are just looking out for me. So I feel guilty sometimes for resenting them when there are people in worse home situations.

They are all pushing me to go through college for my science degree and go to dentistry school like my sisters did. They discouraged me when I said I'd like to become a teacher instead. Everyone in my family is fully dependent on my stepdad, who pays for everything-my mom's rent where I live with her, and my sisters' allowances and rent while they are in dental school. So I have only $400 saved up from various allowances if I decide to just leave home.

But I have reached a point where I cannot stand living here under my family's influence. I am not allowed to go out or have friends, or even volunteer to spend time away from the house. My car is my mom's, paid by my stepdad. They just want me to stay at home and focus on school every single day. I don't know if I can keep living like this without going crazy or suicidal. I have two options: leave home with just my $400 and try to get a low level job bagging groceries or such. I have no work experience. I might find shelters to stay at, but I believe shelters for women are only for those from abusive relationships or with children. I don't know if I count.

My second option is to tough it out, stay 2-3 more years to finish my science degree and try to get a job as a teacher. I will have to lie to my family about applying to dentistry school. It will be miserable. I will continue to not have any social life or go out. I am also not really sure about continuing to rely on my stepdad for 3 more years, only to tell him that I am not following his plans for me.

Please, I am not sure what to do. Any advice would help. I have hit a low point and I have no friends to find support from...Thank you.
@Kathleen Hey, thank you for replying. It is kind of..relieving to know I'm not alone. If you don't mind, yes, I'd love to be able to contact you through email just to talk to someone who may understand.
I have tried to talk about my sister and my stepdad about my desire to have a different career, and my depression, but they just could not understand why I would want a "low-paying, stupid" career. Their words, not mine. They also do not really believe in depression as they said they do not understand why I am depressed, that I should be able to "forget" about my depression if I just keep focusing on school...So I absolutely will not have their support on this...

[Troubled]

The second option sounds better aa you could reach your dreams at the end. It's your life! But if it doesnt work out, try to see the positive in life. If you get into dentistry, you could have enough money to leave and never look back

[Kathleen]

Wow, well let me start off by saying I can really relate to your situation. I also have a very controlling step dad and I have tolerated his bs for nearly 14 years of my life. I don't want to discuss my sob-story because this is about you.
I would like to tell you I think it's great that you want to be a teacher. I am dumbfounded at the fact that your family does not support you with your career choice. My family is the same way. I wanted to be a microbiologist and they thought it was the stupidest thing ever. So then I wanted to do computer forensics, but they thought it wasn't worth it. They want me to be a lawyer or a nurse. Personally I will never do that and I have my reasons. Now I am looking into joining the Navy or Marine Corps. They also are not to fond with the idea.
So what I have done to cope with this issues is mainly just keeping in mind what will be better for you in the long run. I have about a 2 years left in this shit hole and sometimes I wonder myself if I can tolerate it. (I am currently 16 and a junior in high school). I, too, have been driven to the point where suicide sounded fantastic, but the farthest I've gone is leaving scars from cutting myself. Again I am straying for topic.
You said you don't really have a social life, I can also relate with you in that case. The only reason I am on the computer allowed to type this right now is because I am also working on homework. I also am quite rebellious; I am not allowed to date and so my freshman year I dated a 17 year-old junior while I was a 14 year-old. We dated for 2 years behind my parents back, eventually they found out and all hell broke loose. I don't have a phone and I never have had one. Social media account? Pssh what's that? Yeah I barely went to my first high school dance this year and that was homecoming. Overall, I can relate to a lot of your pain.
What I suggest you do is do find people you can vent to (like me) it's nice to know you're not the only one suffering. If you are confident that you can find a job with the $400 you have saved up, I would say go for it. But, if you think you can withstand 2-3 more years of hell, then do it. Maybe you need to have a straightforward talk with your stepdad, tell him you are not going to be a dentist like the rest of your family. Tell him how you feel and that you want to be a teacher and you are going to be a teacher. If you would like to further discuss anything let me know in a comment and I can give you my email. I would be more than happy to talk with you and relieve some of your pain.