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He has taken my self esteem from me by consistently cheating and lying? He has also met someone new after 4 weeks? I hav
06-22-2014, 12:54 PM
Post: #1
He has taken my self esteem from me by consistently cheating and lying? He has also met someone new after 4 weeks? I hav
He put me through hell, yet he has a new girlfriend (after 3 weeks) and I'm upset! How can I forget him? Why do I feel hurt?
My ex/partner is in the Army. He is 25 & i am 21.

We broke up 2 weeks ago and he already has a new girlfriend! They have been to London! And have uploaded photos together!

When i first met my ex/partner, he promised me the world. He took me to central London & we stayed in a nice hotel etc.. He treated me like i never had been treated. He rang me every night etc.


Little did i know, he was in mountains of debt, & was still paying back payday loans and had bailiffs turning up to his house. A few months into the relationship i found myself paying for everything.. i had to drive up to London to his barracks to see him, pay for his food, go on nights out with him and pay, and holidays..

He is also a compulsive liar.

However, he would always talk to/sleep with other girls. He would go out and ring me, & when he was in his room i would hear another girl, then he would hang up. His friends have told me girls have stayed in his barracks on numerous occasions.

Why do I care he has a new girl?

I can't stop checking their facebooks to see if they have pictures together... Does this make me crazy?

I saw a picture of them together on Instagram and it made me feel physically sick!!

But WHY do I still love him after all of this hurt? How am I going to get over it all?!
I wish I could just delete him from my life. He probably isn't thinking about me

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06-22-2014, 12:59 PM
Post: #2
 
Own your part in this or you will never heal or learn from this and continue to repeat the pattern.

You chose him and stayed with him while he lied and cheated. After the first time he cheated/lied you should have been gone.

You chose to pay for things, after the first time you could have stopped. You chose to keep doing this.

Take responsibility and learn from this so that you will do better and choose better next time.

We all have close encounters with awful people, we learn, and then get them out of our lives quickly.

I can guarantee you a life of misery if you continue with the victim mentality you have adopted.

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06-22-2014, 01:02 PM
Post: #3
 
You gave u self esteem away by staying with him thr all of this. Should have lefy him long ago, dear.
You need to thibk about. Why youve stayed with hm .
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06-22-2014, 01:07 PM
Post: #4
 
Your probably hurt because you actually cared about him, and he just toyed with your emotions and took you for granted, but like K8 said own your part in this. You allowed him to hurt your over and over again. You ignored the red flags, and kept trying to paint another picture of him, when he was showing the real him all along.

Perhaps delete your social networks for awhile, and block him from your phone, so when he gets bored with the other girl you wont hear from him.
You need to get back to loving you and knowing and valuing your self worth. People only continue to hurt you as much as you allow. This guy is toxic, and is hindering your growth as a woman. He is also not the guy for you. The guy for you will uplift you and encourage you to be a better person. He will not feed your insecurities, he will help put them at rest.

But first you must be happy worth your self. know that you are worth meeting a great guy, that loves you. Lift up your self esteem, and be confident. If you don't know your self worth , people in general will walk all over you. So don't worry about him focus on yourself for a while. Be around people that make you feel good about yourself, and are uplifting.

Also fyi, he took you to London, and treated you poorly shortly after, now he is taking this other girl London.......do you know how that will end. this is routine, more than likely he does this to almost all the girls he meets. And for future reference, any guy that is trying to whoo you and going out of his way to impress you, by extravagant gifts and vacations more than likely is up to no good, and has a hidden agenda. Next time don't fall for it to soon, pay attention to what he does NOT what he says. And make sure the good behavior is consistent for at least 6 months to a year. Usually some people are just putting on the show in the beginning of a relationship, and not being their true self.
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06-22-2014, 01:10 PM
Post: #5
 
I thoroughly agree with K8....

You put yourself through all of this from the first moment you learned he was with other girls. And as for his debt, it was never your problem.
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06-22-2014, 01:22 PM
Post: #6
 
By staying with him so long he destroyed your self esteem and self worth. You need to cut out all contact from him and forget about him. As time goes on your confidence will return and you will easily move on from him. Time heals all wounds.
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06-22-2014, 01:31 PM
Post: #7
 
He took nothing,you gave it,take it back and leave.
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06-22-2014, 01:35 PM
Post: #8
 
You are feeling upset and hurt because deep down inside you know your ex could have never treated you the way he did if you hadn't allowed him to. We teach people how to treat us by showing them what we will and will not tolerate. You acted like a doormat with your ex for far too long, so it's not really surprising he spent so much time walking all over you. You should get some counselling to build up your self-esteem.
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