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I am a muslim in love with a christian Girl who is in love with my muslim best friend.?
06-23-2014, 08:05 AM
Post: #1
I am a muslim in love with a christian Girl who is in love with my muslim best friend.?
Before I start.
1. I am 14 years old.
2. I am a shia muslim.
3. I live in Sweden.

It all started last summer when the girl, Victoria had been stood up by a guy. I felt sorry for her. We started chatting on Facebook. We had known each other all our lives but we never really were friends. We started getting to know each other and I started to have a crush. I told her and she did not talk about it. She was apperantly in love withmy best friend who is also muslim. He treats her like **** and she still loves him. Now recently she asked meabout him and I told her. She said how he was so sexy etc.AAnd that she loves him. We started talking and she asked about islam and in the End she said she was willing to wait til we are old and then she would marry him and convert to islam. I was so sad because I have dreamd about a girl like this. Now I am not sure whether to be her closest friend or leave her alone. I WOULD DIE TO BE WITH THIS GIRL BUT I GET SO SAD WHEN SHE DOESNT LOVE ME. Please give Me serious answers and dont say I am too young to think about marriage. Because dating is not allowed in islam.


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06-23-2014, 08:15 AM
Post: #2
You are a good friend. Good for you


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06-23-2014, 08:24 AM
Post: #3
Quit stereotyping people with their religion
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06-23-2014, 08:25 AM
Post: #4
First of all, Salaam.
Second, THIS (this right here) is why Allah does not want young men and women to be &quot;intimate friends&quot; (as in best friends). You should get your mind away from this, and every other girl, and focus on your studies and your Deen. Bring yourself closer to Allah and He will guide you to your righteous spouse.
If you are having trouble forgetting her, do some Sunnah fasts and extra prayers.
You ARE too young to think about marriage, as you have not completed your studies yet! How would you support a wife and the eventual children?
Get your head away from the girls and become the best Muslim Man you can be, so you will be worthy of finding a wife worthy of you and you two can lead each other to Jannah.
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06-23-2014, 08:35 AM
Post: #5
Islam does not allow a believing Muslim man to choose any woman as his wife. Neither does it allow a believing Muslim woman to choose any man as her husband. This is so because there are certain things to be considered in marriage, such as their well-being and prosperity in this world and the Hereafter; immunity from corruption and Satanic plans. As viewed in Islam, marriage is not just based on lust, carnal desires, and material gains. The goal of Islam from marriage is to maintain people's beliefs; to build a divine home; to raise good children; and to seek God's pleasure. It is in this framework that all that is involved; the marriage itself; maintaining a spouse; loving a legitimate spouse; having sex as much as either side requires; respecting each others' rights; bearing children; raising them; carrying out the necessary duties such as working to provide for the housing, food and clothing of the wife and the children are all considered to be worship of God and each step taken in this regard will have a great heavenly

reward. It is in this context that one can understand why Islam insists on finding a well-matched spouse. We are forced to humbly accept Islam's divine conditions for marriage, since a marriage without regard for these conditions will end up in a life full of sedition. The house will be filled with torture and suffering; pain and agony; sadness and sorrow. Such a life might end up in separation and divorce with its ever-lasting bad feelings. It may even end up in insanity or suicide if one party is not strong enough.

Avoid associating or marrying a woman who has not attained intellectual development through studying; and has not helped herself reach perfection by attaining piety, faith and morality. Such women are raised in a family void of monotheism, morality, piety, worship and belief in God's unity. They bring nothing for their husbands but sedition, corruption and destruction. An important tradition from Imam Baqir (Pbuh) has been quoted as: "The Prophet (Pbuh) passed by some women. He suddenly stopped and addressed them, and said: I have not seen any group of people lacking wisdom and religion like you, and stealing the wisdom of the wise. I have seen that your torture is greater than that of all the dwellers of Hell. I strongly recommend that you try to get closer to God, by perfecting your faith and acquiring knowledge, and good deeds." [Marriage in Islam , p.45 as cited in Vasa'il al-Shiaa Abvab Muqadamat Nikah]

Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) said: "The strongest enemy of a believing man is his bad wife." [Bihar al-Anwar , v.100, p.240]

In another tradition it has been stated: "There are six things which are essential causes of committing sins and rebelling against God: love of this world; love of power; excessive sleeping; love for women; love for eating and being lazy." [Vasa'il al-Shiaa Abvab Muqadamat Nikah, Chapter 4; Bihar al-Anwar , v.100, p.225, Vafa Press]

Thus it is best that you confine yourself to abide by the conditions stated by Islam in choosing a spouse. I shall express all these conditions based on traditions. Try not to choose a spouse based on her beauty, love or wealth. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: "Do not choose a wife for her wealth or beauty. Her wealth will cause her rebellion, and her beauty will cause her corruption. You must consider her faith and religiousness for marriage." [Mustadrak al-Vasa'il , On Marriage, Ch.13]

The Prophet (Pbuh) has been quoted as saying: "If there is bad omen in anything, that is a woman."[Bihar al-Anwar , v.100, p.227]

In fact if a woman is deprived of knowledge, faith, morality, good-temper, dignity and nobility, then she is bad and will ruin her husband's life.

The Prophet (Pbuh) also said: "A bad woman is the worst thing."[Ibid]
Imam Baqir (Pbuh) said: A man consulted with the Prophet(Pbuh) regarding marriage. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: "Get married, but with a religious woman. God will give you a good reward. A good woman is similar to an especial crow which is hard to get." The man asked what especial crow? He responded: "One with one white leg." [Marriage in Islam, p.59]
The Commander of the Faithful (Pbuh) said: The Prophet (Pbuh) asked the people: Let me know what is best for women? Fatimah (Pbuh) responded: That she does not see men, and men do not see her, too. The Prophet (Pbuh) who was amazed at this response said: Fatimah is the chip off the old block![Bihar al-Anwar , v.100, p.238]
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