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Is my friend being stupid on online dating sites?
06-24-2014, 07:58 PM
Post: #1
Is my friend being stupid on online dating sites?
I have this friend who is really attractive, spends a lot of time working out, and likes showing off her body. Most of her pictures on Facebook are bikini pics, and she has said she doesn't even fill out her online dating profiles but just puts up bikini pictures. She gets a whole bunch of messages, but I'm thinking these guys are pretty shallow considering there is no information about her other than the pictures showing off her body.

She's talked to a couple of these guys, and they typically start talking about sex in the very first conversation. Which makes sense to me, since that's the type of guy you're going to get when you're putting up half naked pics of yourself. With one of these guys, they had a couple of conversations, and the second convo became all about sex. The guy said he had pleasured himself thinking of her, and when they met, after they got to know one another, he was going to "f*** your BRAINS out." She engaged in what I thought was a filthy conversation with him, including the different positions that they were going to try and all the graphic details of all of it. He then asked for a naked picture, and she actually sent one! There was another guy she talked to who of course started talking about what he wanted to do to her sexually in the first conversation, and he basically wanted to meet her for sex. He even said she should come to his apartment, because there aren't many people there, and she can scream as loud as she wants and no one will be bothered. Is it just me, or is that incredibly creepy???

She says she has sent naked pictures of herself to other guys as well when they asked. She says it's just for fun, but I think she's being kind of an idiot. For me, when a guy starts talking about sex right off the bat, it's a red flag, and you NEVER send naked pictures because who knows where they could end up. But again, that's what a girl is going to get when she posts half naked selfies online. She thinks that I'm a prude and could stand to be more like her.

Which one of us is right?

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06-24-2014, 08:13 PM
Post: #2
 
You are on the right track. Your friend is playing an old cheap game with Facebook and other social sites. She wants attention. As you rightly point out, the danger is she is getting the wrong type of attention.

Men are visual. If a man sees half-naked or suggestive photos, chances are high he would not read whatever text may accompany the photos or would be so busy reading between the lines, the message of S-E-X would still be uppermost in his mind.

Your friend may not be serious about meeting any of these men. She could be looking for a way to kill some time, to get a few laughs (at her own expense, mind you).

What your friend may want to remember is photos can be copied and photoshopped and used in all kinds of unthinkable ways. I've seen photos of people in swimsuits but the suits had been artfully removed and replaced with realistic naked skin. For some people, seeing is believing. How would your friend explain a such an altered naked photo? She may want to limit her exposure (in every sense of the word).

You are not a prude. Stick to your guns. As for your friend, she may have to learn her lesson the hard way.

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06-24-2014, 08:20 PM
Post: #3
 
Your friend likes sex, and you do not like that she likes it.

What do you mean who is "right"? She is very different than you, I see no problem beside involving herself in some unsafe situations (going to random guys' places for sex). If she likes to have bikini pics online, that is fine, if she likes guys looking at her in these photos, that is fine, if she likes the kinds of attention and conversations she gets from dating sites that should be ok too. If she does not mind naked photos of her being out there that is also fine. Yes, almost everyone does care about naked photos being out there in the world, but some people like this girl actually do not. She might regret it someday, but she really might not. She is not clueless, she gets common sense things like this it sounds like.

So a guy starts talking about sex right off the bat, for you that is a red flag because that is not what you want, for her it is not because she obviously does want that. I do not see why you cannot accept her and feel like you are "right" or something. Let people live how they want to live. The only valid concern you can bring up is her perhaps being more careful when she does things like goes to guys' houses where no one can hear her. But otherwise, she can have sex if she wants to. You do not get to make choices for her. She wants what she wants, and you want what you want.
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06-24-2014, 08:36 PM
Post: #4
 
Its not a matter of right and wrong, but rather that she has no standards and little self respect. She&#x27;s setting herself up for serious problems with that kind of behavior.
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06-24-2014, 08:50 PM
Post: #5
 
u re WRONG here. u should never judge other people. u live your life. she chooses how to live HER life. stay the hell out of her business. and the majority of guys on those mating sites are just into sex, whether u put naked pics of your or not
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