Break up via facebook- was my fiance playing mind-games or was just plain immature?

[Kalinda]

My fiance and I had been engaged for 4 months. We had met each other's families and everyone knew about us. However, my fiance was a little more traditional than me and 'expected' me to do things for him and his family that I did not agree with. I did them anyways just to make him happy and not upset anyone. The realtionship was a long distance one. He was extremely sweet, romantic, very attentive and wanted to speak with me all the time. I felt it was because he loved me. However, he would get angry at the smallest things, like if I didnt say I love you or if I contradicted him. He had a problem with me being a strong woman and with the fact that I could take care of things myself. I always made up with him, again, just so things would be calm. Things he said bothered me, like he would say that he wanted me to wear a bikini so guys would look at me and then look at him and say how lucky he was to have a girl like me. However, I was always the bigger person and made up with him by calling him and taking his cold treatment for a while. One day we got into a huge fight. In this fight, he offended me numerous times, including comparing me to his ex, and telling me that I would not be 'allowed' to financial help my parents after we got married (seriously?). He also told me that after we got married, our families would never be equal and that he was going to be the major decision maker. I could give my 'suggestions', but his word was final. I was extremely upset and this time decided not to call him and wait for him to call me and try to make things right. A week passed by with absolutly no communication. After a week, I decided to call him. I did, and he did not answer. I thought he was just playing hard to get and decided not to worry about it. When I got home, my parents and I received numerous calls from family and friends inquiring if we had broken up. My friends told me that he had changed his facebook pic from him and me to just him and had taken out that I was his fiance ( he had changed his relationship status). My world literally shook as I could not believe he, my fiance, would do something like this. No one is allowed to treat me like this. So I went to my parents and told them that I wanted to break it off. We tried calling his parents, but there was no answer. So we sent an email informing them of our decision. I deleted him off facebook. Although I loved him and his family as well, no one is ever allowed to treat me this way. Two weeks later his father called to call the engagement off. He had not received the email. My father informed him that an email was sent to him, It has been a while, but I still feel uneasy. I just feel bad about how the break up happened. I don't hate him, I am just dissapointed in him. I also feel bad for his family. Any suggestions on how I can feel better? Did I do the right thing?

[TREV]

The fact that he ended it like that must be upsetting. However the fact that he has ended it, after what you have said, sounds to be a lucky escape for you. You need someone that treats u equally! Respects what your opinions are. There will be plenty of guys who want a woman who can support herself, is strong, and equally as significant in the relationship. Nowadays if you find someone like the person Youv mentioned, it's more likely than not that he's a 'Freshi' from back home lol. (I'm Asian btw lol)

[Fynaticx]

Yeah you did the right thing. Its not yours or his fault its just people want different things in a relationship. Why take something that "will do" when something perfect could be round the corner? Just take some time to yourself and when your ready start looking again.

In a relationship your putting a lot of trust and emotion in the hands of your partner so when its the wrong person it can completely destroy you. My advice is to accept the break wont be easy for you but its for the best. Time will heal it and before you know it you will be thankful it all happened as it made you stronger and pushed you forward to achieve more in life

[nora]

you are lucky it broke off go for a few weeks of therapy and learn how to pick better

[Lucyanne]

You have made the correct decision. By what I've read it sounds like he's been very controlling and doesn't want you to be an individual. I would say the only mistake you made is accepting his immature 'temper tantrums' - don't let anybody treat you disrespectfully!

[MM]

Honestly, the right thing would have been to break off the engagement yourself the first time he got mad at you for daring to have an opinion of your own. That's not loving or "traditional" behavior: that's the mark of a control freak who sees you as a possession that reflects himself and not a person in your own right, with your own needs and wants and desires. Be glad you didn't wind up dealing with that for the rest of your life and make sure the next guy you get serious with likes and respects the fact that you're a strong woman.

[shortladybug129]

Be very thankful that you didn't marry this guy. He is NOT husband material.

[thewaythingsare]

any relationship that relies on facebook is non-existent. And why were you anywhere near this neanderthal anyway?

he isn't talking to you, how much more evidence do you need? Very childish, yes, but look on it as a good escape from an idiot.

hold your head high, say good riddance to bad rubbish and move on.

[swbarnes2]

You absolutely did the right thing.

[Jilly]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, to me. He's controlling and so immature that he can't even be bothered to do you the courtesy of speaking to you during a break up. Doesn't sound like he ever respected or loved you.