Did I ruin my friendship with him? I mistakenly thought he liked me! Help please and I'll answer yours!?

[Angelica]

Okay so I'm good friends with this guy. We met in college last year. We were in the same class for 2 semesters and I graduated in May and he still goes to the school. He went back home for the summer, but we agreed that we would stay friends and hang out as friends when he comes back in the fall. And he also said to message him whenever I wanted.

Well, on the last day of class we got into a bit of a misunderstanding because after we agreed to hang out as friends, he said "so yeah we'll remain friends- it's your choice" and he was smiling when he said it. So I got a bit confused because I told him that I liked him last November over fb, but he said that he had a gf back home and we agreed to stay friends (he wanted to). And overall he was really nice about the whole thing.

Well anyways I had asked him about what he meant about the choice thing via fb and after some back and forth he said "he was just talking and didn't mean if I wanted (I guess to be friends) and that he just said that to give options." and when I asked if he was putting the option out there that maybe we can be more than friends he said "and no we're staying friends. didn't mean to put an option just don't read into it too much." We hadn't talked that much since then, since he was too busy to even go on fb, so I never really got a chance to ask him why it wasn't an option and it had been really bothering me since then. Like I assumed it was because he still had a gf but I didn't know for sure.

So I messaged him in early August and asked him if being more than friends wasn't an option because he still had a gf or if it was some other reason and that I hope i didn't make things awkward because he's one of my best friends and I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin that, but I wanted to know why if that was okay. And a day later on facebook out of nowhere he changed his relationship status from single to in a relationship with the girl that I suspected was his gf the whole time! I got pretty mad and upset when I saw it because I expected him to at least message me back first and then change it and it made me think that he got mad and didn't care! Well two days after that, he messaged me back (after I messaged him asking if he got my message) and said this...

hey, yes I got your message. Sorry to hear about your grandpa... but it sounds like the rest of your summer is going well. About your question, yes I still have a girlfriend but even if i didn't to be honest you and I are just friends. There's a ton of guys out there, I'm just not the one. You're not making things awkward, I just want you to know we're just friends so you don't get the wrong idea. Hope all is well.

That is the last thing he has said to me and I have sent him a couple of messages already! First, I had responded back and pretty much said thanks for being honest, and that I already know that he has a gf, since I saw the status change, and I'm just glad he's not mad at me, because I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. I said that I thought he was mad at me for asking because he hadn't responded back right away and changed his status. I also said that at first i did kind of get the wrong idea, but when he said that we were staying friends that I understood that we were just friends and that I'm glad that we can still continue be friends without it being awkward. And in the end I said in like a jokingly way "i'm one of your best friends though too right?" and put a smiley face in the end. After awhile on Sept. 5 I tried messaging him again, asking him how was school and if he got my last message. Still nothing. And last week I invited him to a get together party I was having with my friends. First, I just did a group invite and since nobody was responding I messaged everyone individually and he still never said anything! I even tried calling him and left a message the day before the party, but he didn't answer back. I recently sent him a message a couple days ago asking him how he was doing and that I hope everything is okay and he hasn't said anything yet although he has talked to his friends via his wall.

I just don't understand. Why would he say that we're friends and then just ignore all of my messages? Do you think he got mad at me? Or maybe he's having trouble messaging me back because he did tell me that he was having trouble messaging me with his phone, and he had said on one status on Sept. 4, that he was having trouble with his phone and computer, and that he was getting a new computer, which he has now. It's just really bothering me and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm thinking if he doesn't say anything by mid October that I'll just send him a message apologizing. Did I really lose one of my best friends over this? Help please.

[Heaven]

Stop writing him , until he writes you back.

Just calm down, take a breather and wait.

If he is your friend like you say, he will write you back.

He could just be busy.

[chris b]

I don't need a bribe to answer this question! Why wasn't it obvious to you that the option wasn't put on the table because he already has a GF and why did you push it to the extent that he had to tell you again...and this time he told you even more by saying that even if he didn't have a GF you wouldn't be in the running and even changed his FB status to cement it further! You should have been embarrassed by this but you wanted, rather, to set yourself up as the victim. You have even gone so far as to put pressure upon your "friendship" with him by constantly referring to it and you knew he had a GF well before he changed his status on FB. Then you go even further in trying to corner him by asking if you were still one of his best friends!!! You say you just don't understand! How is it possible you don't get this? If I were this guy I'd run as far and as fast as I could in the opposite direction! He was up front with you at every turn...he never led you on for a second. You're like a stalker just waiting for the right moment to pounce on this guy. He's not answering because every and any time he does he has to jump through hoops to please you while you constantly question him and his friendship. Grow up.