Loooong question, sorry... But someone good at reading male minds, please help!?

[Sarah]

I've been seeing the most incredible guy.

I went through a lot to be with him because he once had a short thing with an ex friend of mine and now that entire groups of friends won't have anything to do with me. I thought he was worth it.

We have everything in common, and the sparks between us were electric. Or so I thought.

He texted me asking to talk one evening after we had spent all afternoon together. He said we needed to have a chat. I asked "about what?" And he didnt reply so I called him and asked what was going on he said "something didnt feel right today" ...I was shocked because from my perspective things had been perfect. I said "do you want to break up?" And he said "no, I don't think so" he then went on to ask me if I could chat to him about it online that evening because he felt more comfortable writing it down (we are both writers). I rejected this and said that we should talk in person so we arranged I would go to see him, which I did.

In person he cited his recent insecurities as a possible reason for feeling as if something wasn't right between us. Often when I've been out without him he's texted me asking me not to get too drunk or hang around other men too much. It makes me furious because I know he's been hurt in the past, but I never hurt him, and he can't blame me for any of it. He was also recently diagnosed with depression... So alarm bells should have been ringing that this is perhaps not the kind of guy I should be involving myself with in the first place on any level above friendship! I also have my own issues though, but I feel I can deal with them better, it's just been nice having someone who can relate to me.

So he said he's struggling to see a long term future with me because he can barely like himself let alone love and care for someone else. He asked what I wanted to do and I said "whatever is best for you and your health. I don't want to break up but it's your decision. Just know that once it's over, it's over. I will be hurting, and I don't look backwards, I look forwards. We can stay friends but ill need space for a bit" he said he would like to see how we go for the weekend. I said "please don't feel you have to do that just to keep me happy because ill only hurt more in the long run" so he ended it. He said its his final decision.

The next night we were at a mutual friends party who is also the flat mate of my ex friend who he had a thing with before me. He spoke to her more than me... Although he didnt speak to her much either, it still upset me. He literally ignored me all night, and he told one of my friends that he ended it with me because there was "no spark" ... I feel lied to now because that is a completely different reason to what he gave me the other night! I wondered if he might be lying to other people because he doesn't want them to know about his mental issues, so I hit him up about it on facebook and he snapped at me saying how could I believe my drunk friend over him, and that I'm acting really odd at present and he isn't cool with my "behaviour".

I really, really miss him and want him back, even though i dont go back to exs usually... but I don't know what to make of this situation? He changed so quickly. I'm certain there's no other women involved. He doesn't have it in him to cheat or anything like that. Any of you guys good at analysing situations? I've tried it talk to him but mainly just get ignored. I don't want to hassle him too much and seem obsessive.

This is driving me crazy!
I actually said I'm certain there ISN'T someone else. That I am sure of

[Devin R]

He's totally using you to get what he wants. He's playing a game with you. The more you obssess over him, the more control he has over you. I would bet he is looking to "play the field." There is most certainly someone else, you said it yourself, he's using both of you. He is stringing you along until he can find someone else to completely take advantage of, then he'll end it with you permanently.