Please please answer..?

[emilielajolie]

So my bf's ex girlfriend's birthday is today and i just can't stop thinking about if my bf is thinking of her.
She was his high school sweet heart and they dated for about a year. Her parents did not approve of him and when he got her pregnant, her parents made her have an abortion. and she was sent away to a foreign country. They haven't spoken since and he said that he thinks of her everyday and i caught him looking for her on Facebook last summer. He found her younger brother and tried to ask him about her but he didn't reply and deactivated his Facebook. He also found her profile thru her brothers but did not try to make contact because he didn't want to get her in trouble with her husband or parents. when he found her he was so happy and he told his mom (who was close with her as well because she worked at the high school at that time) about it. She is married now he says its probably an arranged marriage. I kno he loves her and this happened when they were in high school.. I'm 19 years old and he's 20.. this happened 5 years ago but i keep thinking about it and i lose sleep over it so much.. i feel like i can't compare to her and that he feels that she was the best for him. we've been going out for 2 years now. He tells me he loves me and he's told me before that he loved me more than he ever loved any girl but i dnt think he loves me more than her. In fact, one day he told me he loved me more than her and I said "stop lying to me" and he said, "well not to the point where i'd be able to pick if had to choose between you both in a life-or death situation".. to me that would be so obvious. If it was my bf or my ex I would choose my BOYFRIEND!! who else?? Should i stress so much over this? Like what if she comes back? Im afraid he's gonna leave me for her? and even if she doesn't come back i don't know if i can be with someone who's heart belongs to someone else.
Also .. they got pregnant on purpose because they wanted a baby

[ILoveLucy]

I'm sorry to say this but i can't think of an answer that will make you %100 percent satisfied. if you know that he has feelings for her then why be with a man whose heart belongs to someone else. it's okay to love him and it sounds like he loves you too but to him it could be like a close sister. you deserve someone whose heart belongs to you and your heart belongs to them (and your positive that that's the case) now don't give up on the man you're with now, but if his heart belongs to this other girl then why stop it? especially if you have someone else in the world for you? love him like a brother and not a lover and try and get in touch with this girl, see if she still feels the same way as your boyfriend does for her and offer her a way out.

and the parents can actually be held responsible for fetal homicide by accordance of the unborn victims of violence act' and as your boyfriend was the father i think he can press charges (if not than definitely the other girl) you just need evidence of the abortion and that she didn't want it done.

i really am sorry that i can't give you an answer you'll probably like more but you don't have to quit talking with this guy he sounds like a great guy i just say find someone that has his heart beating only for you and not anyone else (unless of course the two of you have kids together)

[Emily]

There's not really an easy answer to this. I don't want to tell you what to do or lecture you, but if you truly feel that you'll never compare to this other girl, you need to leave him. If not forever, then for a short while. Sit down together and tell him that you love him and you're sorry, but you feel that you should break up for a month or so because you need some time apart. If he goes back to her in this period of time, then don't try and make the relationship work. He's clearly got his heart set on her, and you shouldn't interfere with that. I really feel like time apart will do you two good. It will either make him realize how much you mean to him, or else let you see that he cares for her more than you. Anyways, you're 19, you've got your entire life to find a guy you truly love. Don't rush into anything, especially if you aren't sure of his feelings for you.