Did I ruin my friendship with him? I mistakenly thought he liked me! Help please and I'll answer yours!?

[Angelica]

Okay so I'm good friends with this guy. We met in college last year. We were in the same class for 2 semesters and I graduated in May and he still goes to the school. He went back home for the summer, but we agreed that we would stay friends and hang out as friends when he comes back in the fall. And he also said to message him whenever I wanted.

Well, on the last day of class we got into a bit of a misunderstanding because after we agreed to hang out as friends, he said "so yeah we'll remain friends- it's your choice" and he was smiling when he said it. So I got a bit confused because I told him that I liked him last November over fb, but he said that he had a gf back home and we agreed to stay friends (he wanted to). And overall he was really nice about the whole thing.

Well anyways I had asked him about what he meant about the choice thing via fb and after some back and forth he said "he was just talking and didn't mean if I wanted (I guess to be friends) and that he just said that to give options." and when I asked if he was putting the option out there that maybe we can be more than friends he said "and no we're staying friends. didn't mean to put an option just don't read into it too much." We hadn't talked that much since then, since he was too busy to even go on fb, so I never really got a chance to ask him why it wasn't an option and it had been really bothering me since then. Like I assumed it was because he still had a gf but I didn't know for sure.

So I messaged him in early August and asked him if being more than friends wasn't an option because he still had a gf or if it was some other reason and that I hope i didn't make things awkward because he's one of my best friends and I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin that, but I wanted to know why if that was okay. And a day later on facebook out of nowhere he changed his relationship status from single to in a relationship with the girl that I suspected was his gf the whole time! I got pretty mad and upset when I saw it because I expected him to at least message me back first and then change it and it made me think that he got mad and didn't care! Well two days after that, he messaged me back (after I messaged him asking if he got my message) and said this...

hey, yes I got your message. Sorry to hear about your grandpa... but it sounds like the rest of your summer is going well. About your question, yes I still have a girlfriend but even if i didn't to be honest you and I are just friends. There's a ton of guys out there, I'm just not the one. You're not making things awkward, I just want you to know we're just friends so you don't get the wrong idea. Hope all is well.

That is the last thing he has said to me and I have sent him a couple of messages already! First, I had responded back and pretty much said thanks for being honest, and that I already know that he has a gf, since I saw the status change, and I'm just glad he's not mad at me, because I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. I said that I thought he was mad at me for asking because he hadn't responded back right away and changed his status. I also said that at first i did kind of get the wrong idea, but when he said that we were staying friends that I understood that we were just friends and that I'm glad that we can still continue be friends without it being awkward. And in the end I said in like a jokingly way "i'm one of your best friends though too right?" and put a smiley face in the end. After awhile on Sept. 5 I tried messaging him again, asking him how was school and if he got my last message. Still nothing. And last week I invited him to a get together party I was having with my friends. First, I just did a group invite and since nobody was responding I messaged everyone individually and he still never said anything! I even tried calling him and left a message the day before the party, but he didn't answer back. I recently sent him a message a couple days ago asking him how he was doing and that I hope everything is okay and he hasn't said anything yet although he has talked to his friends via his wall.

Do you think he got mad at me? Or maybe he's having trouble messaging me back because he did tell me that he was having trouble messaging me with his phone, and he had said on one status on Sept. 4, that he was having trouble with his phone and computer, and that he was getting a new computer, which he has now. He always takes forever to reply though, since the summer. It's just really bothering me and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm thinking if he doesn't say anything by mid October that I'll just send him a message apologizing. Did I really lose one of my best friends over this? Help please.

[Jordi ;)]

WHo ur in a pickle just try not to be real clingy and try to act like the whole thing never happened so u don't make things awkward

[Grace]

Trust me, I know how it feels when you deeply like a guy and you expect them to feel the same way (or at least me considerate about it) and they don't really, and they constantly play with your feelings... sometimes saying such cute things that make you think they like you, and the the next day they are like a different person totally ignoring you and what not.

I know you seriously like this guy, and even though you seem alright to just be friends, I don't think thats what you really want- If your like me, you'd want to be friends but would be secretly expecting to have something more in the future with him.
One very good thing about you is that you express and communicate your feelings, which is the best way if there were any chances of him becoming your friend. But you know what, I know you don't want to hear this (I would be sad too) but I really don't think he is NOT interested. He may of said things or done things in the past that made you really think that there is something, but when the guy says things like "even if I was single I don't think we would have anything between us" kind of stuff, I think he is not worth it. Besides, even if you were with him in the future, what makes you think he would be faithful to you?-(guys are sometimes easy books to read).

What I would do now is to try super hard not to talk to him, cause I think it would make things just worse! It will be hard, and you will think you should message him, but for the love of yourself do not do it!!! Like I said, I have been in situations like you where I didn't listen and kept talking to him but it was not good, all it created was me feeling very bad about my self and looking very desperate. And I guess I was desperate... which is silly cause I know he isn't the only guy in the world that I will have feelings for.
You are a beautiful person who should deserve only the best, not someone who doesn't give you the love you want and deserve.
It doesn't seem like it, but after time everything will get easier. Just take one baby step at a time

Good luck!