Why would somebody act this way? Advice please.?

[heygirl128]

Hi, I would appreciate if I could get some advice on my situation .

Alright, well im a lipstick lesbian..anyways so a few years ago, i met this girl one night. We are both in college. my guy friend was telling someone how im a lesbian ( cuz most ppl dont believe it at 1st) and how im “so hot” and the second he said that, this girl’s eyes shot to me, we locked eyes, then she looked away super fast and at the ground. Then immediately acted super shy towards me, almost to the point of becoming mute lol she wouldnt say a word, would look at me then away immediately, acted very tense so i figured maybe she hated gay people, or was definitely gay and scared of her attraction to me. ( ppl in the past have been nervous around me , so this isn’t the 1st time, however this was the most intense reation I have ever experienced lol). And she didnt seem like one of those girls who is touchy to everybody and just wants attention. Well later in the night i said i have to go to the bathroom to some of the group, and when i said that she sprung up and goes ” Oh ill go with u!” i was completely surprised and confused cus she hadnt said anything all night until that moment LOL….well so then she made moves on me and we madeout multiple times then were holdin hands, cuddling kissing, makin out, a little boob touching lol, had her arm around me around my waist while walking, etc, and this was in private and like in an area of the party not around many people, a few friends i was with saw us and a few other random ppl but it wasnt like we were doing it for attention. So yea we did that all night her initiating pretty much everything the kisses, holding hands,etc, exchanged numbers , and told me how im so beautiful. & it was clear she was loving it, was clear she was still nervous as well, but definitely was loving it otherwise she wouldn’t have been all over me and making all of the moves. A guy hit on me later in the night , which apparently got her jealous and said “This is MY girlfriend, we are lesbians meaning not into boys” (which completely suprised me as well). We madeout and kissed numerous times and her having her arm around me alot and holding hands, were really enjoying being with eachother, again with her making mostly all of the moves . I figured , this girl definitely is a lesbian and my first guess was right, that she was mega nervous bc she was attracted to me alot. i thought this was the start to something great…

WELL, so after that night she avoided me like the plague for over a year. I tried texting her, no response, adding her on facebook, which prompted her to deny the request the block me. SO, I was under the impression this girl clearly hated me lol…. (for some reason I would have no idea for, considering a few nights ago she was so nervous/shy to me and we eventually hooked up nonstop lol). Either she hated me, or she hated me because she hated herself for being attracted to me. Anyways tho, she , yes, is back in my life now. And she acts very odd to me , sometimes very flirty or “suggestable” as id call it (usually when it is just me and her, like when she sees me randomly on campus and nobody she knows is around), for example she saw me walking one day and decided she was gonna run up to me grab me and pick me up with the biggest smile on her face. ( I was completely blown away). but other times acting very tense, awkward around me and sometimes avoiding me or even RUNNING AWAY.

SO, I obviously know that it isn’t that she hates me, due to how she sometimes acts very warm to me. But anyways onto my question, I just kinda want to analyze the whole reason as to why she avoided me like the plague after “That Night” that we met and hooked up. I mean, I would understand if like I had been aggressive and made moves on her and she clearly didn’t want me or something lol, but like, she was the one to MAKE the moves, she was the one who acted mega nervous/why towards me, etc u get the point. So, is it defense mechanisms because she is scared to be a lesbian? What do u guys think? And have u ever been in a similar situation or seen somebody act like this because they are maybe scared to come to terms with their attraction to somebody? Thanks

[Helen]

This girl is extremely confused..She is definitely attracted to you, and at the same time she does not want to be attracted to you. It's got nothing to do with you, she doesn't know how to handle her sexuality. That night might have been the first time she openly admitted she is gay. My belief is she found comfort in the thought she is not the only one to have romantic feelings for girls and therefore let herself go. But once the magic of the party, the drinking, the dancing stopped, she realised what she had done and suddenly felt guilty. She might have been raised to believe gays are sinners and will end up in hell and therefore feel that what she did was wrong. I believe the only thing you can do is talk to her. If I am right, she will need a friend to guide her. To help her love who she is and not care about the world.

[Kelley]

I agree with Helen. She is scared to face her sexuality. She is fighting it.
She has to deal with it herself. You can't help her. The only real question is whether one night of making out is worth all the frustration, pain and heartache you will have to face if you get close to this girl?

[HakunaKahuna]

I believe one of the following is true:

1. She wasn't actually gay but was bi-curious and just wanted a brief fling.
2. She is gay or bi but still hasn't fully accepted that part of herself.
3. Regardless of her orientation, she was already in a relationship and was cheating with her partner in order to be with you.

Regardless of which of the three above are true, the following is definitely true:

She does not respect you, and she is unwilling to be free and open with you. If you have sex with her, I guarantee she will treat you badly. Move on, before this girl hurts you worse than she already has.