Should I tell her mother?

[Ashlee-Rose]

So we have these really close family friends who we've known for a long time. They have a 12 year old daughter, and her mum asked me to keep an eye out for her - I am like her 17 year old sister, in a way.

The other day she followed me on Twitter, and I went onto her page out of curiosity - I didn't know she was old enough! But when I was going through her recent tweets, I found out that she was basically cyber-bullying another girl via Twitter. (The other girl seemed like a total brat, by the way, but she lives in a different country and hadn't been bothering my 'sister' personally.) It was something about Justin Bieber, which was interesting, but the thing that got me was the cruel words and the language she was using to bully this girl. It was AWFUL - she used words I wouldn't think she would know.

I was wondering what to do about it. Do you think I should just leave it alone, and ignore it? I feel like I should tell her mum, because she could be really hurting this other girl. If I tell her mum I will lose her trust, but I really think it needs to be stopped. Any thoughts? I'm torn between being responsible and betraying the girl's trust. Help?

[Karen]

You can tell her mom, but also say that you don't want the girl to know that you was the one who said it. Just say she found it out from someone else or from the mother using the site herself. Or you could talk to the girl yourself and ask her why shes talking like that and that it is inappropriate and she should stop.

[mikedec5to14]

Dont betay your 12 year old friend. Find a time when the three of you are together (so the 12 year old can know exactly what6 was said) steer the conversation gently, and make a very casual remark about how its a good idea for parents to monitor what their kids do online. Try to make eye contact with the mother as you make the comment. If she is sharp, she will pick up on it immediately.

If you are convinced she did not get the message then go over to her privately later and just say "that comment i made about monitoring twitter accounts was important".

Then step out of it. If mom does nothing, then you simply forget about it. You will have done what you agreed to do.

[Tracy]

Show her mom on your phone and let her decide.

[bored2lyf]

I suggest talking to the girl and finding out exactly whats going on. At this age, kids start being able to handle themselves, or at least appreciate being given the opportunity. Immediately involving her mother could cause her to resent you and the girl she was bullying. This, of course, would not help anything. If she seems unwilling to explain or alter her behavior, then tell her mother, but express to her the delicacy a situation like this. Many parents do not know how to treat their children with a true respect- only that false thing that yells and makes demands, all while insisting that it's for their own good. Children, especially competent ones, must be treated as though they are, in fact, competent. I would advise, no matter what you decide, delicacy.