What do you think of those friends who expect to be give approval with things in your life?

[iBelieve in TrueLove]

Since I've been in my relationship, it's made me discover "true colors" of certain people - i've been able to differentiate the positive people vs the negative people. Happy people like seeing others happy and negative people, don't because they're unhappy. There's always that "one thing" they have to criticize, worry, or judge you on. If someone was really bad for you, happy people would notice and point it out but in this case, has not happened. I know there are people in your life who look out for you and want what's best but sometimes, I feel like it's unnecessary... like why do they do this? My own parents don't do this with me. I'm grown, I'm smart, I know what I want...I'm not a little girl that expects approval from my friends to date a guy. Seriously and if people think that way, I don't know if we can be friends...to be honest. You would think people who respect you would have that respect knowing you can decide for yourself. I am not in any danger. I have not been hit nor threatened. Couples are allowed to argue, people get hurt/offended, relationships aren't perfect but we are allowed to work through things, figure each other out, and forgive.

I have 2 "friends" who are a couple. Definition of "misery loves company" bc everytime i'm their 3rd wheel, it's always some sort of gossip going on with facebook, some kind of situation with mutual friends they frown upon in which they themselves RISE upon with how THEY would do things differently. The minute they heard i got into an argument (and at this time i was highly emotional and probably overreacting at one point), I was offered unsolicited advice from my friend's boyfriend on how THEY got together...pretty much insinuating that their way was the right way...that love is logical. I can see how people feel that way...if they haven't been in love. It's different strokes for different folks and everyone has their own definition and experience of what love is. Love does creep up out of nowhere, you can't chose who you fall in love with, how it happens, how slow/fast it's going...the only thing you can hold on to is your heart and it's the compass that guides you to the next mystery or adventure that comes at you. You just need to feel it, be open, and trust it... that's what I've been doing and i haven't had any regrets at all, even if things haven't been "perfect". When I had lunch with my friend she even mentioned how her boyfriend was wanting to test him out, not keen on liking him right away, etc... like SERIOUSLY?! You guys aren't family...you're not my father, you're not a cousin...you're just a friend's boyfriend. I'm sure they mean well but I don't understand why certain people have to go through "approval" with boyfriends or relationships when we're all adults! They did this with our mutual friend too. It wasn't planned at all but she met someone special literally a week after she broke it off with her bf of 2 years. 3 years later, they are married and happy today. These two were judging saying how it was "too fast" but they missed to see how happy and how different it felt. My friend kept saying, "oh she should take time for herself. She needs to finish her higher education first. She needs to move out to a bigger place first before getting a boyfriend..." but that's the beauty of love, you can't prepare or make situations "perfect", it just hits you. What's interesting is that this couple have been together for almost 10 years yet when people ask about them, she's highly defensive. She hasn't told her parents or introduced him to them at all bc her reasoning is that "he needs to build up and get things together" but everyone can see through that she's just ashamed of him and isn't what she's trying to change him to be...yet...
I've never had any regrets with relationships. I'm not the chick that dated the same bad guys over and over but rather, I've gone through many experiences that have allowed me to grow - good and bad. Things may not have worked out in the past but I don't regret them at all. There's a difference between being a good friend and looking out VS someone who wants to rain on your parade bc of their own insecurities. What's interesting is if the guys I were dating were "bad" before, why weren't they concerned then? Why is it now that I actually find a good guy I love, he's suddenly "someone to look out for"?

[Katy]

You seem to have people grouped into good and bad people.
Life just isn't that simple.
If. You are someone who has made past bad decisions with relationships you may not be able to trust that internal instinct.
Socially acceptable conversation includes discussing relationships within our lives to others.
If you don't like this- don't hang out with those people.

[49 copperhead]

You're right, you don't need anyone's approval. You have your own lessons to learn be they good, bad, or indifferent. If you don't want their feedback, stop sharing information.