Relatives I bought gifts for did not wish me happy birthday on facebook?

[Sassy]

I recently reconnected with a cousin and his kids and they are friends on facebook. I'm older than most of them (50) vs their age kids are late 20's and early 30's. I've bought some wedding gifts, shower gifts etc for engagements and upcoming marriages. They did send a thank you card. I'm kind of upset as not one of the five of them wished me happy birthday. One of them had a destination wedding I did not attend as it would cost $4,000.00. They said they would invite me to a BBQ at their home for people who didn't make it. Well, they posted pics of the BBQ on facebook, and I wasn't invited. I'm wondering if she was mad as I sent her a wedding gift for $30 vs cash as I am retired. I kind of feel like they message me only when they have a gift giving occasion as that's how the bride invited us to her destination wedding. We live out of town, and when in town the last time we bought them dinner for over $100. I'm kind of rethinking this relationship as my kids are not getting married etc and don't know if they would reciprocate. What's your opinion?

[Alice]

We give gifts because we want to give them, not because we think they will be reciprocated. If you got a thank-you for your gifts, you are ahead of the game, since a lot of people don't get that much these days.

I would not overthink this if I were you. If you think you have given all you want to these relatives, feel free to decline future invitations and send cards of congratulation instead.

Very few people make a big fuss over birthdays, unless they are especially noteworthy (50th, 80th, 90th, etc.) or for the very young. I don't even have my birthday listed on social sites. Those who know me well enough to know when my birthday is send me greetings, some of the time. I don't fret about it if they don't.