How can I find a group of friends?

[robertxx74]

I have found over the course of my life that most one-on-one friendships last for a while then fade. I have also found that most friendships centre around consuming some good or service - rather than actually doing anything constructive together. When hard times hit, people often very quickly find themselves alone. I have had periods of my life where I've had many one-on-one friendships, and periods where I've been part of a group of friends. I find being part of a group much more fun than the one-on-one friendships. My observation is that you cannot deliberately create groups of friends of sufficient size and openness so that they are self-sustaining - you have to stumble on them. Groups seem most likely to form when a bunch of 'new' people are put in close proximity in a place where they don't know anyone. Once people are settled, groups of friends like this do not form because their social needs are already met by their existing local relationships. This means that settled people make lousy prospective friends. So here I am in an environment where I am surrounded by settled people. Making an effort seems futile because I will at best end up with a bunch of one-on-one friendships - with most of them being too busy to spend time together most of the time. Having been disappointed by many one-on-ones in the past, I'm really not interested in them any more. I maintain my well established one-on-ones via facebook and phone, but I've not added new ones any for five years. I would really like a group of friends. How can I find one in a city that seems full of settled people everywhere I look?

[sandra]

You need to find a friend that has alot in command with you then some of their friends become yours and theres your group.