I hate me so can you help?

[Stargirl]

I hate who I am. I have no proper friends- my supposed best friend said if she died no one would care not even me, that's horrible because i love her, shes my best friend. i have never had a proper group of friends who i like, and there were this group at school who i wanted to be friends with, i decided to like the same music and fashion as them so they may like me, i used to have awful taste and did actually love the music they liked, but then i became friends with them and realised they were all horrible, now i feel really fake because i am so shy i want people to like me at school but i feel like i only like the music i listen to and wear the clothes i wear because i want people to like me. I desperately want a good group of friends and although i tell myself it doesn't matter i cant help but want it. I am really short tempered with my family and horrible if something doesn't go my way or right. I am really selfish and even if i try not to be i still am secretly. I am really fat and flat chested which is an awful combination. i wish i could be original- i have an older sister who's 18 and we are basically identical except i copy a lot of her fashion and music-not because i am obsessed but because i like it or we like the same music and so i feel like i am supposed to like that music. I hate that i am not original i love that i love wearing the clothes i wear and listening to the music i like i just wish i was more unique. I am insanely jealous of my sister because she is amazing at drawing fashion and i am okay at drawing random stuff but nothing interesting. I just want to be original, kind, calm and not shy but i dont know what to do. I feel so depressed all of the time, the only thing i do with my life is watch tv and go on facebook. I am failing at school but cant bring myself to do work. i am so unmotivated. There is like hardly anything wrong with my life- except form this but i hate it. I find my mum really irritating and dont know why- i guess i blame her for everything that is wrong with me as she has no boobs, is selfish and last year i had an operation to correct my spine, it was a severe operation and the problem is hereditary on her side. I see my operation as nothing compared to what other people have to go through in their lives. I randomly woke up one morning and found everything my mum did annoying and pathetic, i see her as weak and have no respect for her. I hate me so much i wish i could change and i have tried so many times. When i was younger i used to be really nice and not scared of anything- now i am terrified of everything and i hate it. How can i change, please someone help me? i cry all of the time because i hat e myself, please i want all of these faults to go away.
I am an athiest so please nothing about god.

[Bob]

have you tried the GOD of israel HE works guaranteed

[Lauren]

okay, hey, im 16, and i totally understand where youre coming from!. but you need some private time. you hate yourself because youre not like the people you look up to. if people say youre mainstream then ignore it, cause it doesnt matter who else wears it, if you like what you wear and do, do it. Trying to be like other people will stop you from finding who you want to be. i was like this in year 7. i didnt know where i fitted in, and went from the'cool group' to the 'nerdy group' in a matter of months, and i found, that being yourself completely, when people get used to it, is the best thing to be... you say youre fat, and flat chested. please dont think its fabulous to have great big breasts, cause it isnt, i promise, many people, myself included would love to have a flatter chest. you have all your life to lose the weight, your friend who seems depressed, just needs your comfort and support, and although she said you wouldnt care, its highly unlikely she means it. stop trying to be good at things other people are good at, and find what you are good at, it doesnt have to be a skill like art...


and about your mum, i dont know what age you are, but youre under 18, so i guess you're at the stage where you are over-thinking everything... in time your relationship with your mum will improve. you need to tell her when you are upset, even when youre finding her irritating, and tell her why, so if it is her she can try and stop it.
NEVER hate yourself. they're not faults, theyre what makes you, you.
i can give you my emaill, if you need any more support.

Lauren

[mamatembo53]

Something is very wrong here, call the child abuse hotline in your area and talk to them about what is going on and who is hurting you verbally and/or physically. You are hating yourself, because someone is hurting you all the time and they need to stop. You deserve a life free of abuse and pain. Tell someone now, so you can get the help you need.

[?]

Dont hate yourself!
Love yourself............