PLEASE HELP ME, ANY ADVICE??? MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE?

[PROBLEMgirl]

i'm 20yrs old,my both parents died when i was 11..i've been living with my brother,sisterinlaw,and there children since. I dropped out of school by 14. When i was 16 (2008), i tried learning a trade.. at the institution i met my first and only boyfriend. He was 1yr older than me,not perfect or handsome..after a few months of constant talking over the phone and at lunch breaks he asked me to be his girlfriend(at this time i turned 17)(2009). When i finally agreed to, it turned out i had to move a 2 hour drive away. At first i wasn't sure what the relationship was at, but it turned out distance made me love him,he came twice to see me in 5months aftr i left(even valentines)..introduced himself to my family,that he was my boyfriend. We kept on talking via phone for the next few months, inever really asked him to come see me after that,but i still have family a little way beyond where he lives so i was there a few times an met him, after a while i don't know what happened..i can't remember exactly,(2010) but his sister was pregnant an he gave her his phone when she went to her in laws to live. So now he had no phone (our only communication). He use to call from his father's phone, then he started working offshore so if i called an he wasn't there..i couldn't do anything. But his father use to tell him i called..an he should call me(2011)it was december in 2011 i told him if h loves me he'll buy a phone to talk to me...HE DID! january passed, febuary passed...then we started talking every single day, we were getting closer and closer. From march to june he came to see me more than 5 times.then one day on facebook his brother wife sent him a message concerning him and a older coworker(twice his age,she has kids our age),when i asked him about it, he said she talkin crap!so i did my own investigation, i made a fake profile on facebook an messaged his best friend sayin "i saw you and your friend(my bf) the other day an wanted to know if he was single" his friend replied "his friend(my bf)isn't" so i felt a relief so i asked him "where is his gf from" he replied "near where his friend(my bf) is living"!!! i was shocked, this old woman and her children have been thratening me over facebook over the past 2 yrs,but i always ignored it cuz my bf told me that she liked him for her daughter.then recently i got the woman's phone number an we had a nice chat she told me"my boyfriend told her i'm married,an we broke up,he's been living with her for the past 2 yrs,she's pregnant for him and she had an abortion that's why he came to see me those 5 times,they're engaged,he's been sleeping with her for the past 3yrs(everynight)i was just a cover up in work 3yrs ago so they wouldn't lose there jobs,she evn said the i made his facebook profile an i go on there an talk to my self,she put up a pic of an engagement ring on fb after that"When i asked him about it,he told me she's lying..i kept the hundreds of texts i recived from her phone(she said he sent them)threats,insults!!!!h denied it all!!!!in september(2012)his phone damaged,he hasn't bought one since,he calls me restricted now an then.i havn't talkin to him in 2 weeks,his fathers phone is'nt working.When he calls he asked me to marry him an tells m he loves me,says he misses me..I HAVE BEEN A FAITHFULL GIRLFRIEND FOR THE PAST 3YRS.I LOVE HIM ALOT,AND I'M WILLING TO FORGIVE HIM IF HE TELLS ME THE TRUTH.he's my first and only bf an i dont want to lose him although he cheated on me(no 100% sure yet)i miss him :'( i feel suicidal..everyday i wake up crying,go to sleep crying(for the past few months)everything i do reminds me of him,if i read the papers every few pages his name comes up if i go on the internet something just comes up of him and i start crying,i dont deserve this :'( i really love him an now he's maybe engaged with that old lady i have no idea how long i can hold on an go trough this!I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!now my family has been bugging me,i'm old enough to get married,"what am i waiting on"they said??i have nobody,i stoped talking to all my friends,i'm just a lonely 20yr old with no future!

[Cody]

I understand you have a rough life. But keep in mind that you were given this life, because you are strong enough to get through the bumps. You have a future and never think you don't.... Your biggest problem is that your letting someone hold you back when he probably doesn't even think of you anymore... Now decide, are you going to be the girl that was weak and cried over a stupid, cheating guy? Or the strong, courageous women that can see his name on the internet and think "I used to date that loser"... You make the choice. You're too good to be with someone like him, but as bad as it hurts you have to let him go. Being in a relationship like that is not healthy and will keep you from achieving goals which is already happening from what I read. You're strong, you're beautiful, and you're worth something. And it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep going. How hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

[svgl]

You have a future, this tool isn't worth it though. He is your first love so it is understandable to feel like the world is ending. However, if he is living and engaged to some old lady he is so not worth marrying. Try to move on, it's hard but there is someone out there who will value you more. This isn't love what he is showing you. Go out and do fun things! Live your life, you are still young.

[Tiffany]

That was really long and really depressing. He does nothing for you. What you need is to focus on urself and start getting an education of some sort or just goals. Youve been away from him for three years and he does nothing for you so it's obvious you can be without him. He wasn't there physically emotionally or mentally. I dot know your life but you seem scared to be alone. Especially because your ur past and ur family now want you to be with someone. You need yourself the most right now and need to figure out how you're going to make a living and when you get out there you're going to find someone for you.

[Philip]

oh babe i'm sorry that you're passing through this, surely you don't deserve this! well, let's see what you can do, you can either try to stay with him or get over it and look for someone else, first you have to be completely sure that he's involved with this woman, maybe she's lying, trying to take him away from you, so the facebook thing, talk to him in person, ask him if it's true, he have no reason to stay and keep saying that he loves you if he doesn't want to, from what i read i see that you love him for real, so don't give up, go after your relationship, even if he cheated on you, if he wants to come back to you accept him, but you have to talk to him in person and make the things straight! your second option is leave him, and go live your life, if he doesn't want to stay with you anymore, let him go, you're precious, surely you'll find someone else that loves you, stay strong and keep going, but if you really love him don't give up! go after your love, it seems that he loves you, this woman can't take away what belongs to you, talk to him!