Need Advice. Should I trust my fiance now?

[maryv2013]

Ok recently he added another female to his facebook friends. I was curious as to who she was because he already had most of his closer friends on there and I've either met them or he's spoken of them and told me they are friends. A few weeks ago we were out to dinner and I just asked him how he knew her. When I asked him he put his head down a little and said "oh she's a friend of a friend." Not sure if he was telling the truth so I checked all of his friends "friends lists" that were public and she never came up but I can't check his friends "friends lists" who have a private profile.

Her profile is private I can't view anything except her thumbnail pic and her cover photo which is about kickboxing. My fiance has many interests but I find it ironic that he's never posted anything regarding kickboxing until yesterday when he posted a kickboxing aerobic video. I've never seen any of her likes, comments or anything on his fb page and I've checked it everyday UNTIL yesterday when her comment under his video post says "Looks intense and FUN! We should do it! (and a tongue smiley) AND he clicked like on it.

I've always trusted him and have never caught him cheating and he has posted a few pic sayings in the past against cheating but I don't know. I don't know what to think. I don't know if her comment was meant as harmless as a "friend" with no underlying meaning or if she wants to hook up with my fiance to do kickboxing aerobics, etc.

What upsets me is whenever I've commented on his posts he's never clicked like on it as he did to her...he just sometimes will click like on a photo or video I post. I'm frustrated because I need to know either way but if I ask him out of suspicion he will get mad and if it's innocent and they are just friends and intend to keep it that way I don't want to make him feel I'm accusing him when I don't have solid proof. As I said, I've always trusted him but this makes me wonder.

Any advice? Thanks.

[Monarchco]

He's a bad boy and you picked him!

[ohiohorselady]

I would say do some digging, cant you make a fake FB account and request friends with her? Or hack his account. Maybe Im just a person who has no trust! Lol,but I will warn you everytime I have done some digging, I come back with something I do not like..

[mr_gees100_peas]

Yep, technology advances faster than we have time to adjust.

Bottom line is he likes her. That's what you wanted to confirm right? yep, he likes her and is attracted to her for whatever reason. There is a myth that we have been told all of our lives. That is that we are anothers person everything. BULL_WINKLE!!!!! both men and woman feel attraction toward other people. Not all the time ofcourse but, some of the time. Its normal. Is there a danger? maybe or maybe not. It depends on how far a person may be willing to take it. For some people it is just a game. OR sometimes they feel great when another person is giving them some attention. It is so easy to neglect our love ones simply because we fall into a routine. People misunderstand attention. You can spend all day 7 days a week with one person and still that dos not fulfill their attention need because it is not about time but about content. For example, I spent some time listening to my wife's concerns and everyday dull drum and the relationship with her and her friends. However, I don't feel the reciprocated. The moment I open up about my weird views of the world or interest she quickly looses interest. I have brought it up and I feel (is what I feel and not necessarily what it is truly going on) that she doesn't understand this. This is why on occasion I have talked to other females and when they start showing signs of attention then I feel attracted to them. It doesn't last because lets face it, I don't think I would listen to myself either HAHAHA but, it is that desire to fill that hole that drives us away even if for one second. So, in this respect, be careful because what if someone does give him the attention he craves? Its so easy to fall in that trap.

The good news is that most people are very committed to their relationships and even though they flirt on occasion they do know where the line lies. Thus, they back off or sometimes the attraction wears off after a while simply because they realize it is just an infatuation and in reality it i not going anywhere or maybe that person does not feel the hole they though they where filing to begin with.

Facebook and technology in general allows us to share with other people in ways that where not possible before and are more socially acceptable. It allows you to find out more about that person that catches your eye. Something that would had been weird in the old days. I mean, you wouldn't go through someones pictures and investigates their interest back in the days would you? Is the new norm and the rules on etiquette and relationships are still being written.

[umm]

Don't look too deep into the situation. This girl probably doesn't mean much to him than merely as a friend. Facebook is Facebook, he can comment, like, add, whoever he please. It don't sound like they were flirting at all but just sharing a common interest. Girls and guys can be just friends and hey, your fiancé can even like her, but it doesn't have to be in a romantic way. Please don't be one of those girls who get jealous easy. He's your fiancé. Trust him. He's human. Let him have female friends. I would be worried if he doesn't anyways.

[Zach]

I can agree with your frustration here... Things shouldn't be so hush-hush and secretive, ESPECIALLY if she is only "a friend of a friend." That's even less assuring when something is intentionally downplayed and you can see evidence of his interest in her activity (likes, comments, posts, etc.) Normally guys will try the brush-off-our-shoulder downplay tactic when they are too prideful to step back and see what it is that they are doing. Guys are afraid of that bitter taste when they swallow their pride, and instead continue to downplay things that are in fact a bigger deal than they think. This doesn't mean he is hiding something necessarily, like a relationship or feelings, but he's taking care of his own feelings before yours at the very least. It's an easy place for guys to be, unfortunately.

Secondly, I'm a believer of mental cheating before physical cheating... Don't be alarmed by this, because a lot of people strongly disagree with me, and you can too! My reason is that if you have a guy craving a girl in some way, whether it's sexual desire or just attention, his mind is already on another prize, and not his prize that he has been given. This doesn't mean anyone needs to be perfect, but we should have enough self control AND enough love for our other half to shake us off those desires. Especially since he is your fiance...

Lastly, I'd like to know where this "random chick" really stands on all this. If his relationship with you is public, why is she so persistent with him? Does she WANT someone who would be unfaithful? That's ridiculous. Same question goes to your fiance. If he DOES have an attraction to another woman, why would it be one that doesn't value an already established engagement. Pretty sad if it's true...

Don't be too alarmed by my comments. I'm a STRONG believer in problems getting fixed. They did with me and my fiancee. And trust me... she had A LOT more working to do than I did