What do think of this love story?

[Daniel]

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Daniel. He had so many problems since he was a little kid. Her mother beat him, but in the end, Daniel learned from all these beatings and learned others as well. By the time he was in 1st grade, he knew the times tables. He just had so many problems that he thought life is just problems.

He was getting older and started to have girlfriends but none of them lasted. They would all leave him after they used him for something. He was just tired. Tired of loving but not getting love in return.

On march 16, Daniel was on Facebook and looking through his friends' profiles. He came upon one of his "friends" status and saw that a girl had commented on his status. So Daniel thought she was pretty and sent her a friend request. He wasn't expecting for Joseline to accept his friend request. Well at least not that quick.

Joseline and Daniel started to talk as strangers until one day, it occurred that these two should meet each other. After 13 days of talking Daniel biked it all the way to where Joseline would be. He started having his thoughts from the past,"what if this is another game? What if she just made me go and she's not there?" Those questions kept on going through his mind until he arrived at his destination. And sure enough, Joseline was there waiting for him like she had said. Daniel was happy to see her and made jokes about an armband that Daniel had that day "Xtreme Mac". Joseline said,"oooohhh extreme". And all Daniel did was laugh and say,"oh my gosh".

So then they went inside the school where they met up. They were just talking and Daniel was talking nonstop. He was telling her all his experiences when he used to live in HLP. I think that Daniel frustrated Joseline because she ended up telling,"you talk too much!" In that moment Daniel just sunk. He probably did annoy her but he took it as a joke after five seconds. Joseline then leaned closer to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Daniel was giving in slowly and they ended up kissing each others lips. Daniels feelings burst! He felt something going through his body that he had never felt before.

Daniel still had his doubts, but when Joseline had to go home, Daniel walked her and the unexpected came. She told him,"I love you". That was the very first time Daniel ever experienced that. He would usually be the first one to tell a girl "I love you" but they never lasted. Now this girl was different. She had the guts to tell Daniel. And Daniel said, "I love you too". They gave each other a last kiss and went their separate ways. Daniel went back to biking 15 miles to his house and Joseline was just one block away from her house so she made it quick.

Joseline had texted Daniel telling him that she had gotten in trouble and that she wouldnt be able to go out. Her dad yelled at her and made her cry.

The last thing that Daniel could do was cheer her up. So what came to his mind was,"we kissed, we said 'I love you' to each other, now this should be taken to another level." That's when Daniel sent her a message saying,"would you be my girlfriend and only mine?" She replied with a happy,"yes". She was still crying but then Daniel told her,"don't cry. You have me here. I'll always be here for you to listen and give you a shoulder to cry on".

It is really unknown how two strangers ended up being a couple. They only talked for two weeks and became bf and gf, now they will make their 7 months of being a couple. As of now, Daniel goes to the same school as Joseline and lives 2 miles away from Joseline so it is easier for them to see each other.

One last thing I forgot to say, you are the first to know everything about me, and still accept me the way I am! I love you Joseline.

[Phuong Tran]

aww! thats so cuuutee! I'm so happy for you! that story put a smile on my face

[Shishir]

too childish and less professional writing. Not good description of characters, events and cause of the events happening. Too fast time. Overall a average short story for a 15 year old teen who have read some books and stories.

[LoveLeadtress]

I think it's a good synopsis but I think that it needs to be a little slower and more descriptive. Otherwise It's good.